Donald Trump on How His Fascist Plan to Track Muslims Is Different Than Nazis: 'You Tell Me'

On November 17, lead paint factory explosion Donald Trump was “open to” the idea of forcing all Muslims in the United States to belong to a database system tracking their movements, he told Yahoo. By Thursday, he was saying he would “absolutely” implement that plan, stonily responding “You tell me” to an NBC reporter… »11/20/15 8:37am11/20/15 8:37am


Donald Trump Would Support Registry for Muslim-Americans; A Literal Fascist Now Leading GOP Polls

In the summer of 1938, the Hitler regime began requiring Jews to carry identification cards identifying their religion, and carry passports stamped with the letter J. In 2015, Donald Trump, a dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots, told Yahoo that he would be looking “very, very carefully” at mosques… »11/19/15 1:00pm11/19/15 1:00pm

Massachusetts Police Force Will Use Pink Handcuffs for 'Breast Cancer Awareness'

The pinkwashing Olympics have their new champion: the police department of Greenfield, Massachusetts announced on Facebook that for the month of October, they’ll be using pink handcuffs. Officers will also sport pins reading “Arrest Breast Cancer.” Because there’s no problem you can’t solve that way. »10/08/15 12:10pm10/08/15 12:10pm

Reese Witherspoon Will Be Tink In Live-Action Tinker Bell Movie, Y'all!

Have you ever wondered how Tinker Bell became Tinker Bell? Wait a sec, you haven’t? Well Reese Witherspoon has, and she’s attached to produce and star in Tink, a live-action movie “in the vein of Maleficent” that tells Tinker Bell’s story from “a new perspective.” Its chosen perspective has yet to be announced, but… »5/22/15 2:10pm5/22/15 2:10pm

OK Hates Gay Marriage So Much It Wants to Get Rid of Straight Marriage

The Oklahoma House of Representative passed a bill Tuesday that would abolish state-issued marriage licenses. If the bill is signed into law, marriage licenses would be issued by a member of the clergy. It's intended to block gay marriages in the state, but is actually just going to turn into an enormous, delightful,… »3/13/15 3:15pm3/13/15 3:15pm

South Dakota Removes Ads Demanding Drivers Stop Jerking It

In a move that surprised many people who enjoy a good joke about masturbation, South Dakota has decided that their plan to ensure safe driving while employing puns about touching oneself all over until orgasm were ill-advised. No one knows how they even came up with the idea, but I assume some ingenious advertising… »12/15/14 9:30pm12/15/14 9:30pm

4Chan Is Why 'Feminist' Is Winning the TIME Poll of Words to Ban

Oh for God's sake: Time magazine is doing its annual reader poll of words and phrases that should be "banned" from the English language, and alongside worthy contenders like "disrupt" and "said no one ever," they've included the word "feminist." And because this is the Internet, guess which word is winning? »11/12/14 1:40pm11/12/14 1:40pm