John Oliver Provides Helpful Back to School Rundown of Everything Students Won't Learn

John Oliver briefly returned from Last Week Tonight’s summer vacation to provide a little back to school video, one that outlines everything students will not be taught in the upcoming year. Chief among them: Warren G. Harding nicknamed his penis “Jerry,” and European explorers and colonists were actually “genocidal… »9/07/15 11:30am9/07/15 11:30am

Share Your Best Tales of Back-to-School Triumph and Humiliation

After Labor Day, students and teachers across the country will be headed back to classrooms for the beginning of a new school year. For some, this time of the year is brimming with opportunity. (What will you learn? Who will you meet?) For others, it’s a time of dread. (What WILL you learn? WHO will you meet?) The… »9/04/15 8:00pm9/04/15 8:00pm

Navajo Boy Sent Home on First Day of Kindergarten for Having Long Hair

Oh, cool. A devastating end to a shithead summer. Five-year-old Malachi Wilson, a member of the Navajo Nation, was sent home from his first day at a Texas kindergarten for having hair that was deemed "too long." Wilson's mother, April, says that her son was devastated by the encounter. And, seeing as Wilson keeps his… »8/29/14 3:50pm8/29/14 3:50pm

Back-to-School Shopping Is a Dying American Tradition

Does anything inspire as much nostalgia as the thought of back-to-school shopping? Can't you see the rows and rows of school supplies, beckoning with promises of fresh starts and better grades? Let the memories of crisp Lisa Frank folders and fresh spiral-bound notebooks and squeaking new sneakers wash over you. You… »8/18/14 6:20pm8/18/14 6:20pm

12 Is the New Age to Demand a Cell Phone, Kids

It’s back-to-school time and all of the parents on your Facebook feed are thrilled to have their lives back. That is, right after they stopped crying about the cost of sending their little monsters to class with new clothes, learning supplies and cell phones. And these days, if a kid’s at least 12, many think it’s… »8/14/14 6:15pm8/14/14 6:15pm

JCPenney Had to Dial Back Its Haircut Giveaway Because It Was Working Too Well

Members of JCPenney's marketing team all put their thinking caps on this summer and decided that a great way to trap people in their stores and cajole them into buying pantsuits or sweatshirts was to offer free back-to-school haircuts to kids. CEO Ron Johnson, however, soon discovered that free back-to-school haircuts… »9/11/12 10:30am9/11/12 10:30am