Michele Bachmann's leaving Congress (and, fingers crossed, the planet — we hear Pluto's Senate is too ethical). Sarah Palin still inspires reality TV shows and biopics but not much more. Thus, NBC wonders how the GOP will solve its lady voter problem if these bastions of feminism can't lead the way. Dumb question,…

If Michele Bachmann's congressional career were a House of Cards-style political drama, it would probably last for about six, one-hour episodes, Bachmann would be played by a tyrannical muppet, and every scene that didn't include her would feature real actors engaged in some variation of the following conversation:

Our favorite googly-eyed presidential failure and outrageously shitty person, Michele Bachmann, recently won WND's "Woman of the Year" award. But she won't be winning any financial prizes anytime soon, because her ex-staffers continue to come out of the woodwork with horror stories.

Five of Michele Bachmann's former staffers say she still hasn't paid them for their work, and not because she can't spare the relatively paltry $5,000 each — because they refuse to sign a shady nondisclosure agreement.

Every year, World Net Daily presents a lucky lady with a "Woman of the Year" award, based on her ability to "represent goodness, womanliness, perseverance and character." Oooh, womanliness. A trait of utmost importance, second only to "wears lipstick at all times."

Michele Bachmann might actually be the worst human being in the world.

Michele Bachmann has been one of the loudest, shoutiest shouters in favor of an amendment to the Minnesota state constitution that would define marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. Unsurprisingly, Bachmann's gay stepsister Helen LaFave is displeased with the Congresswoman's foaming homophobic…

Someone call Michele Bachmann and let her know that she's finally obtained the ranking of Asshole Eagle Scout. Huma Abedin — the Pakistani-American Hillary Clinton aide whom Bachmann and several other nuttier-than-a-fruitcake Congressmen alleged had close ties with the Muslim Brotherhood — has begun receiving death…

Michele Bachmann and America have had some pretty sexy times together. Remember when Michele Bachmann was running for President and she won the Iowa Straw Poll and everyone freaked out for a haysecond before they realized that she's about 8 players short of a baseball lineup, brain-wise? Remember how she gave that…

Faced with a growing avalanche of criticism over her divided national loyalty, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann now says she'll renounce her Swiss citizenship so that she can focus 100% of her attention on making America terrible.