US Not Ready For a Woman President, Says Woman Who Ran For President

Minnesota Congressman Michele Bachmann has issued her edict on the chances Hillary Clinton's theoretical campaign would have during a theoretical 2016 election: not good. Mostly because America simply isn't ready for a female President. I bet the schmucks who donated to Bachmann's 2012 Presidential campaign feel pretty … » 2/20/14 1:30pm 2/20/14 1:30pm

Michele Bachmann Claims She Lost Her Insurance Because THANKS OBAMA

Yesterday, Congressman and world's foremost authority on being a hateread made flesh Michele Bachmann appeared on CNN to discuss her favorite topic, "Obama Bad. More like Nobama (sits back crossing arms, raises eyebrows smugly)." During her appearance opposite strategist Paul Begala, she claimed that thanks to Obama… » 11/15/13 12:20pm 11/15/13 12:20pm

Michele Bachmann Outcrazies Herself In Bizarre 'End Times' Interview

» 10/08/13 12:40pm 10/08/13 12:40pm

Minnesota Congresswoman and firebrand head of the Congressional Whackadoodle Caucus went on the radio this weekend to talk about, I don't know, what she normally talks about I guess? Word barf that reads like Tea Party Magnetic poetry in a blender? But what she ended up talking about — in an excited, unsettlingly… » 10/08/13 12:40pm 10/08/13 12:40pm

Republicans Continue to Be Mystified by the Secrets of the Lady Vote

Michele Bachmann's leaving Congress (and, fingers crossed, the planet — we hear Pluto's Senate is too ethical). Sarah Palin still inspires reality TV shows and biopics but not much more. Thus, NBC wonders how the GOP will solve its lady voter problem if these bastions of feminism can't lead the way. Dumb question,… » 6/03/13 3:40pm 6/03/13 3:40pm

Michele Bachmann's Political Career Is a Parody of a Tragedy

If Michele Bachmann's congressional career were a House of Cards-style political drama, it would probably last for about six, one-hour episodes, Bachmann would be played by a tyrannical muppet, and every scene that didn't include her would feature real actors engaged in some variation of the following conversation: » 3/25/13 4:20pm 3/25/13 4:20pm

Former Staffer Says Michele Bachmann Violated Senate Ethics Rules, Is…

Our favorite googly-eyed presidential failure and outrageously shitty person, Michele Bachmann, recently won WND's "Woman of the Year" award. But she won't be winning any financial prizes anytime soon, because her ex-staffers continue to come out of the woodwork with horror stories. » 1/23/13 4:10pm 1/23/13 4:10pm

Michele Bachmann Hasn't Paid Former Staffers Because Michele Bachmann

Five of Michele Bachmann's former staffers say she still hasn't paid them for their work, and not because she can't spare the relatively paltry $5,000 each — because they refuse to sign a shady nondisclosure agreement. » 1/11/13 11:40am 1/11/13 11:40am

Michele Bachmann Wins WND's 'Woman of the Year' Award Partially Based on…

Every year, World Net Daily presents a lucky lady with a "Woman of the Year" award, based on her ability to "represent goodness, womanliness, perseverance and character." Oooh, womanliness. A trait of utmost importance, second only to "wears lipstick at all times." » 12/28/12 7:25pm 12/28/12 7:25pm

Michele Bachmann's Gay Stepsister Probably Won't Be Inviting the…

Michele Bachmann has been one of the loudest, shoutiest shouters in favor of an amendment to the Minnesota state constitution that would define marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. Unsurprisingly, Bachmann's gay stepsister Helen LaFave is displeased with the Congresswoman's foaming homophobic… » 10/15/12 2:45pm 10/15/12 2:45pm

Congratulations, Michele Bachmann! Huma Abedin Now Getting Death…

Someone call Michele Bachmann and let her know that she's finally obtained the ranking of Asshole Eagle Scout. Huma Abedin — the Pakistani-American Hillary Clinton aide whom Bachmann and several other nuttier-than-a-fruitcake Congressmen alleged had close ties with the Muslim Brotherhood — has begun receiving death… » 7/23/12 12:15pm 7/23/12 12:15pm

Michele Bachmann Told She Can No Longer Sit at Cool Republicans' Lunch…

Michele Bachmann and America have had some pretty sexy times together. Remember when Michele Bachmann was running for President and she won the Iowa Straw Poll and everyone freaked out for a haysecond before they realized that she's about 8 players short of a baseball lineup, brain-wise? Remember how she gave that… » 7/19/12 7:00pm 7/19/12 7:00pm

Michele Bachmann Still Around, Endorses Mitt Romney

Minnesota Congresswoman/America's Pretty Hate Machine Michele Bachmann is finally biting the bullet and endorsing her former rival Mitt Romney for President. Romney fans hope that this will bring Bachmann's merry band of people who hate taxes and gays to his side. But can an endorsement erase months of Romney-bashing… » 5/03/12 11:55am 5/03/12 11:55am

Michele Bachmann Accuses Obama of 'Waving a Tar Baby in the Air,' Then…

I'm starting to wonder if it's possible for Michele Bachmann to resist the opportunity to say normal things in the stupidest, most offensive way possible. In an interview yesterday, she managed to make a conversation about high gas prices into an awkwardly racist moment where she accused the President of "waving a tar… » 4/19/12 4:40pm 4/19/12 4:40pm

Michele Bachmann Had No Idea She Was Meeting the 'Dangerous Radical'…

Longtime activist and Occupy Wall Street participant Anne Nolan is the sort of woman that gives Michele Bachmann hives. Pro-Wall Street Reform, pro-universal health care, pro-mandatory 3 weeks' vacation for all American workers, and, most Bachmann dystopian of all— she didn't take her husband's name when they married.… » 3/16/12 6:00pm 3/16/12 6:00pm

Jackass Who Used Twitter to Threaten Michele Bachmann With Rape is in…

A judge has ruled that Twitter must reveal the identity of the man who threatened to rape Minnesota Congresswoman and former Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann using the microblogging service on the grounds that legally, saying you're going to sexually assault a Presidential candidate on an internet forum isn't… » 2/28/12 12:40pm 2/28/12 12:40pm

Michele Bachmann's District No Longer Exists, But She's Running for…

This morning, a special court in Minnesota ruled that Michele Bachmann's home district is to be folded into another district to reflect population shifts from the last 10 years. Bachmann, who is nothing if not tenacious, says she'll run for re-election, in her home district, anyway — against another incumbent Minnesota … » 2/21/12 9:30pm 2/21/12 9:30pm

Michele Bachmann Is Perfect, Says Michele Bachmann

Former Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has been busy since dropping out of the race after a disappointing finish in Iowa's caucuses. She's running for reelection to her Minnesota congressional seat, she's firing her staff members, and most of all, she's letting America know that they blew it big time when they… » 2/07/12 11:40am 2/07/12 11:40am