Even a Cunt Like Me Can't Hate on This Adorable Baby

I clicked on a link promising photos of the new Gerber baby with my eye roll already beginning its exaggerated arc because—I don't know? I'm an asshole? I think it's weird that one baby's cuteness is held above all other babies' cuteness? But then the photo loaded and—good god, you guys. THIS FREAKING BABY. » 1/22/15 5:30pm Thursday 5:30pm

American Sniper Promotes Unrealistic Beauty Standards for Babies

Much has been made of American Sniper, the Oscar-nominated, Clint Eastwood smash about a Navy SEAL with boy-band good looks and the cunning mind of a serial killer. But thus far obscured in the meditative pieces from media thought leaders about "the thrilling anticipation of gunplay" and how it is "doing amazing… » 1/19/15 11:34am 1/19/15 11:34am

Some Suggestions Should Blake Lively Really Launch 'Preserve Baby'

Blake Lively, a ghost that escaped the Vogue office late one night clinging to Grace Coddington's fiery locks whom Anna Wintour has been attempting to recapture ever since (baiting her traps with offers of cover stories, of course), is reportedly cooking up a new business venture: Preserve Baby. Saints preserve us. » 1/05/15 6:20pm 1/05/15 6:20pm

Hospitals Won't Name First Babies of 2015, Because Kidnapping

It's a fixture of local papers around the country: the annual article trumpeting the first babies born in the new year. Remember, they're never too young for bragging rights! Well, it won't be happening in Richmond, Virginia, where local hospitals have announced that they will not be announcing the first-place kiddos… » 1/02/15 5:30pm 1/02/15 5:30pm

​Chris Pratt Shares Touching Story of His Prematurely Born Son, Jack

On Friday, Chris Pratt attended the March of Dimes Celebration of Babies, where he related the story of how his wife Anna Faris gave birth to their son Jack nine weeks premature and how that impacted him and his idea of fatherhood. Hey, your boyfriend is being open and vulnerable, so prepare for some ovary-wrenching… » 12/07/14 5:55pm 12/07/14 5:55pm