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Watch This 5-Year-Old British Lad Learn He's 'Going to Be a New Big Bruvva!'

How do you keep your pregnancy reveal video from being cloying and obnoxious? Hire this little boy to act as your shocked and thrilled son. Or at least hire someone (preferably a child) who can deliver a line like “Are you really having a bay-bay? Is it in your belly now?” with a similarly adorable inflection. » 8/27/15 4:50pm Thursday 4:50pm

This Baby Was the Only Reasonable Person at Donald Trump's Rally

Yesterday Donald Trump and his 20,000 most fervent supporters gathered for a “pep rally” at Ladd-Peebles stadium in Alabama. “You know, now I know how the great Billy Graham felt,” Trump said to crowd. And just like a Graham-style revival, Trump sang to the souls of pilgrims. According to The Guardian, Trump read from… » 8/23/15 11:45am 8/23/15 11:45am

Five Very Good Reasons to Hire a Ghost as Your Babysitter

One of today’s biggest stories is about a family who may have discovered a ghost in their nursery. Instead of being happy about it, however, the dumbasses have already gone to the media to complain about the metaphysical being inhabiting their nursery. Why is that being a “dumbass” you want to know? Uh, mainly because… » 8/11/15 1:20pm 8/11/15 1:20pm

Diana Ross's Grandchild Birthed By Ashlee Simpson

Us Weekly is reporting that Ashlee Simpson, wife of Evan Ross, has given birth to the granddaughter of Diana Ross. The little girl, whose name has yet to be revealed, is Simpson’s second child (her first, Bronx Mowgli, was fathered by Pete Wentz), and the first to share DNA with a former member of The Supremes. » 7/31/15 12:40pm 7/31/15 12:40pm

College Sophomore Arrested After Throwing Newborn In Trash Can

Emily Weaver, a 20-year-old former sophomore at Ohio’s Muskingum University, was arrested after allegedly killing her baby right after giving birth and asphyxiating it in a trash bag outside her Delta Gamma sorority house. She has been charged with aggravated murder, abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. » 7/26/15 11:25pm 7/26/15 11:25pm

Meghan Trainor's Still Boring, But Her New Song Is Cute 

In the video for their collaboration “Like I’m Gonna Lose You,” Meghan Trainor and John Legend want you to take the nearest baby or puppy out into the rain with no umbrella. Were they inspired by Kanye West’s “Only One” where he carried North around a downpour while she barely wore a jacket? What’s going on out there? » 7/10/15 2:15pm 7/10/15 2:15pm

America Is Having More Babies for the First Time Since the Recession

America’s been having fewer babies since around the time of the recession, probably because suddenly everyone’s money was gone and women were afraid of taking vacations, much less maternity leave. But for the first time since 2007, the birth rate has actually increased. Maybe you’re not imagining the uptick in… » 6/17/15 1:30pm 6/17/15 1:30pm

How to Dress a Dead Baby

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The mechanics of dressing a dead newborn are basic. The little girl’s face is white, lacking the flushed cheeks normally present in a newborn. She has a full head of hair and a button-type nose that makes you want to give her Eskimo kisses. Someone, probably a nurse, has put her in a onesie with yellow tulips… » 6/03/15 6:34pm 6/03/15 6:34pm