Just two days ago, American Graffiti came on one of those expensive cable networks, prompting me to google “Harrison Ford young.” Did you know Harrison Ford was in American Graffiti? Did you know George Lucas directed American Graffiti? Did you know Harrison Ford, in American Graffiti, was a young, hot babe?
The plot of the latest untitled Woody Allen film—"On a small college campus, a philosophy professor in existential crisis gives his life new purpose when he enters into a relationship with his student"—was recently brought to our attention. Here's how we imagine that pitch meeting going down.
You know when you're walking down the street and you overhear one person in a relationship call their partner something like "Babe" or "Sweetie" or "Schmoopie Pie" and you think how cute that is? I'm not sure that I do, because I can't recall a single moment I've heard a "term of endearment" be used that didn't make…