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If You Want to Get Laid, Stop Texting 'Hey' and Make Some Goddamn Plans

In order to physically get with a person, it helps to meet in person, OK? This is not rocket sex science, it is a fact. So if you have met someone you like, do this one simple trick: Try texting them and asking them to hang out with you at a specific place on a specific day at a specific time. Come on guys, you got… » 6/15/15 12:10pm 6/15/15 12:10pm

Aziz Ansari Calls Rupert Murdoch a Racist Piece of Shit on Twitter

While we were all busy trying to decide which joke about George Clooney was the most gratuitous of the Golden Globes, comedian and actor Aziz Ansari was spending his Sunday evening devoted to more worthy causes. Specifically, he was calling out Fox News pond scum Rupert Murdoch for his legacy of racist bullshit and… » 1/11/15 11:45pm 1/11/15 11:45pm

Check Out This Compilation of Tom Haverford's Craziest Business Ideas


I have mixed feelings about Parks & Recreation (mostly good, but I just got stuck halfway through Season 6 and can't bring myself to watch it), but my favorite part is probably any instance of Aziz Ansari's Tom Haverford pitching one of his ridiculous ideas, or just sharing one of those classic Haverfordisms. They… » 8/02/14 2:40pm 8/02/14 2:40pm

50 Cent Responds to Aziz Ansari's Claim He's Never Heard of Grapefruit

OH, HELLO, REASON WORDS WERE INVENTED. It's just my favorite story of all of life. As you may or may not know, Aziz Ansari famously tells a story in which he sat near 50 Cent in a restaurant and the rapper didn't know what a grapefruit was. After a long, long silence, the rapper has finally SPOKEN OUT TO CLEAR HIS… » 6/03/14 8:00pm 6/03/14 8:00pm

Aziz Ansari Imagines a Marriage Proposal in a World Devoid of Marriage



In this clip from his upcoming Netflix special, comedic powerhouse/Harris' cousin Aziz Ansari puts that whole matrimony thing into perspective, envisioning what a proposal would look like if marriage never existed. Sure enough, the whole idea of nuptials now seems a lot creepier than those wedding videos set to Bruno… » 10/25/13 5:15pm 10/25/13 5:15pm

Watch Aziz Ansari Lay Waste to the Lazy Racism of His Fellow Comedians

This is a few days old, but still worth a watch. Aziz Ansari was one of the many standups to perform at the Comedy Central Roast of James Fanco over the weekend. It's normal and usually acceptable for comedians at roasts to get nasty and personal when joking about the other people in attendance (and not just the… » 9/05/13 6:00pm 9/05/13 6:00pm

The Orphan Black Clones Will Get Busy With Park & Rec's Tom Haverford

Tatiana Maslany — who is beyond brilliant as clones trying to make it in a non-clone world on BBC America's Orphan Blackhas booked a two-episode arc on NBC's Parks & Recreation as Tom Haverford's love interest. It would be so awesome if she played the clones, because I have a feeling they might be the ladies to… » 8/22/13 12:00pm 8/22/13 12:00pm

Julia Roberts Is a Real Dick To Her Formerly Obese Half-Sister

Julia Roberts' half-sister Nancy Motes, who weighed 300 pounds before undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 2010, says that her relationship with Julia has been testy since Motes was in her teens and Roberts broke into stardom after Pretty Woman. Apparently Roberts would not let Motes forget that she was a Fat Woman. » 8/10/13 11:30am 8/10/13 11:30am

Lena Dunham Lands Cover of Rolling Stone, Discusses Her 'Childhood Fear…

You know, I was chilly on Girls for the first few episodes, and I did not enjoy Arfin-gate 2012 or Detroit-gate 2013, but the more I watch it the more I'm convinced that—as much as she pisses me off now and then—the show not just entertaining and beautifully written, it's important. Lena Dunham is challenging the… » 2/13/13 8:00pm 2/13/13 8:00pm