The Lesbian Version of Those Axe Body Spray Commercials Is Perfect

Brought to you by the Gay Women Channel, this hilarious, terrifying spoof perfectly nails what's so goddamn annoying about those Axe body ads. Because when someone smells so good we just can't control ourselves, amirite ladies???
Axe Body Spray: For Boys Who Describe Women's Breasts as 'Bags of Sand'
Axe has a long and storied history of ridiculousness, and as far as offensive commercials go, this one is far from the worst, but it's like their entire advertising team* has never met a woman. Or, they purposefully act like they ever have, but maybe that's because Axe is meant for pubescent stink-machines who use…
In Step Forward for Feminism, Axe Creates Women's Body Spray
A huge battle has been won in the fight for gender equality. While women still earn less than men doing the same jobs and there are groups working tirelessly to restrict our reproductive rights, we're finally free to douse ourselves in eau de frat boy. Axe, the cheap toiletry equivalent of the He-Man Woman Haters…
Win A Trip On Axe's Literally Filthy Yacht
According to this European commercial, dudes who buy Axe body spray can win "a chance to come on board" (get it?) the Axe Boat, which it seems has already been trashed by 12 nubile ladies and their pet monkey. [AdFreak]
Warning: Axe Morphs Dudes Into Sofas
According to this Argentinian ad, Axe body spray has a horrifying side effect: It may fuse your torso to your pull-out couch. Sure, you can stow lingerie-clad women in your ass, but being dickless may present a problem. [Animal NY]
Lynx Body Spray Sends Man Into Anaphylactic Shock
As if the commercials for Axe (known as Lynx in England) weren't irritating enough, apparently it also causes potentially deadly allergic reactions, as a 36-year-old British man found out after spraying himself with "Lynx Fever" and winding up unconscious. [Telegraph]
Nina Ricci's Olivier Theyskens In, Out, Shaken All About
- Noooooo! Grazia reports Olivier Theyskens is leaving Nina Ricci. [The Cut]
- Or not: the mag attributes the scoop to "buzz currently sweeping through the front rows of the Couture shows in Paris." [Fashionista]
Broadsides: In These Girls Hope Is A Muscle
- In case you haven't heard, Tennessee's Lady Vols basketball team has won the NCAA tournament after a 9-year-drought. The news reminded us of one of our favorite pieces of literary non-fiction, Madelaine Blais' In These Girls, Hope Is A Muscle, which underscores the role of sports as a self-esteem builder among young…
Dove Tales
According to today's Slate, Unilever, the company responsible for the above atrocity, is also responsible for the "love-your-body" ads produced for Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty.
Speechless.
We beg to differ with the assertion from our
sister
brother site Gizmodo that this is funny. Other than that, we really can't find much else to say.
