<

Jehovah's Witness Leader: There's a 'Spiritual Dilemma' in Reporting Sexual Abuse

Since 2013, Australia’s Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Childhood Sexual Abuse has been investigating how institutions like schools and churches respond to allegations of sexual crimes against children. The commission is now questioning members of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, finding that there have been… »8/18/15 1:20pm8/18/15 1:20pm

Eva Longoria and a Reporter Take Part in the Greatest Feud of Our Time

Eva Longoria wears glasses. Eva Longoria wears glasses. Eva Longoria wears glasses. This is something you should repeat over and over until you believe it. If you don’t, Eva Longoria will not only come after you, she will not rest until you have been completely destroyed. Eva Longoria is light, Eva Longoria is love,… »7/29/15 1:20pm7/29/15 1:20pm

Australia to Imprison the Country's Most Dangerous Predators: Cats

Australia, known for dangerous animals such as the inland taipan (the world’s most venomous snake) and drop bears (real) is facing an animal crisis that’s been building for the past 200 years. What, you may ask, is more frightening than the box jellyfish or the common—common—death adder? It’s your average everyday… »7/29/15 12:30pm7/29/15 12:30pm

Cara Delevingne: “Everyone Has a Right To Be Whoever They Want to Be"

Cara Delevingne, whose first leading role will be in the upcoming Paper Towns, talked about sexuality and same-sex marriage at the Australian premiere of the film. “I’ve been pretty open about myself from the beginning. I think it’s wonderful that you know, it’s being accepted more and more,’ she told Daily Mail… »7/05/15 7:45pm7/05/15 7:45pm

Straight Couple Trying to Divorce Over Gay Marriage Can't Legally Do So

It’s been a whole day since we met Nick and Sarah Jensen, tireless advocates for “straight marriage only” and consummate heroes that will literally divorce if gays are allowed equal rights. Unfortunately, you might have to put a hold on that celebratory parade you were planning in their honor. It turns out that they… »6/11/15 10:15pm6/11/15 10:15pm

Things in Australia That Want to Kill You

9

My fixation with Australia began as a small child. I was convinced that the land down under was magical and filled with color, excitement, and amazing animals (we can thank to The Rescuers Down Under and Fern Gully for this). My mother also had a beautiful set of Australian Opals, so that helped fuel my imagination. A… »6/11/15 5:20pm6/11/15 5:20pm

Couple Forced to Divorce Because Gays Are Ruining Their Marriage

Well, the rumors are true: Gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of straight marriage. Need proof? Meet an Australian couple who are threatening to divorce if gays get the right to marry. Nick and Sarah Jensen believe that once those heathen gays can vow everlasting love to each other (and get equal rights), their own… »6/10/15 2:00pm6/10/15 2:00pm

Judge Declares Mistrial, Dismisses Juror for Flirting with Defendant  

A judge in Sydney, Australia reportedly declared a mistrial after a sheriff in the courtroom said he saw the female jury foreperson flirting with the defendant. Sydney’s Daily Telegraph says the woman was accused of “flicking her hair, smiling, raising an eyebrow and nodding in a potentially suggestive manner at the… »6/08/15 7:00pm6/08/15 7:00pm

Unusually Buff Kangaroo Moves Into Australian Neighborhood

A kangaroo with unusually large muscles has recently taken up residence in a Brisbane suburb, prompting locals to ask, “Who’s this new stud in town?” The kangaroo is like, “Bro, do you even lift?” Resident Linda Hellyar almost ran into the animal when she was out walking her dogs one day. “He’s very intimidating. He’s… »5/23/15 5:30pm5/23/15 5:30pm

Is Rebel Wilson 29, 35, or a 36-Year-Old Liar Named Melanie Bownds?

Depending on who you believe, the woman currently starring in Pitch Perfect 2 as Fat Amy is either a 29-year-old named Rebel Wilson, a 35-year-old named Rebel Wilson, or a 36-year-old named Melanie Bownds. The Sydney Morning Herald (whose perfect URL is smh.com.au) reports today that “Australian business records… »5/19/15 9:50am5/19/15 9:50am

Australian News Anchor Congratulates Biracial Twin for Looking White

Last month in Australia, a Sunrise morning news anchor named Samantha Armytage interviewed Lucy and Maria Aylmer, biracial fraternal twins, and loosed her racist inner self. In her introduction, Armytage described the pair as Maria who has “taken after her half-Jamaican mum” and Lucy who “got her dad’s fair skin, good… »4/28/15 4:10pm4/28/15 4:10pm