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Eva Longoria and a Reporter Take Part in the Greatest Feud of Our Time

Eva Longoria wears glasses. Eva Longoria wears glasses. Eva Longoria wears glasses. This is something you should repeat over and over until you believe it. If you don’t, Eva Longoria will not only come after you, she will not rest until you have been completely destroyed. Eva Longoria is light, Eva Longoria is love,… » 7/29/15 1:20pm Wednesday 1:20pm

Australia to Imprison the Country's Most Dangerous Predators: Cats

Australia, known for dangerous animals such as the inland taipan (the world’s most venomous snake) and drop bears (real) is facing an animal crisis that’s been building for the past 200 years. What, you may ask, is more frightening than the box jellyfish or the common—common—death adder? It’s your average everyday… » 7/29/15 12:30pm Wednesday 12:30pm

Brigitte Bardot Is Trying to Save 2 Million Feral Cats

The Australian government has recently unveiled a five-year plan to terminate two million feral cats and Brigitte Bardot is not happy about it. The French actress, animal activist and namesake of a popular off-the-shoulder summer garment wants the government to reconsider. “This animal genocide is inhumane and… » 7/26/15 5:25pm 7/26/15 5:25pm

Cara Delevingne: “Everyone Has a Right To Be Whoever They Want to Be"

Cara Delevingne, whose first leading role will be in the upcoming Paper Towns, talked about sexuality and same-sex marriage at the Australian premiere of the film. “I’ve been pretty open about myself from the beginning. I think it’s wonderful that you know, it’s being accepted more and more,’ she told Daily Mail… » 7/05/15 7:45pm 7/05/15 7:45pm

Straight Couple Trying to Divorce Over Gay Marriage Can't Legally Do So

It’s been a whole day since we met Nick and Sarah Jensen, tireless advocates for “straight marriage only” and consummate heroes that will literally divorce if gays are allowed equal rights. Unfortunately, you might have to put a hold on that celebratory parade you were planning in their honor. It turns out that they… » 6/11/15 10:15pm 6/11/15 10:15pm

Things in Australia That Want to Kill You

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My fixation with Australia began as a small child. I was convinced that the land down under was magical and filled with color, excitement, and amazing animals (we can thank to The Rescuers Down Under and Fern Gully for this). My mother also had a beautiful set of Australian Opals, so that helped fuel my imagination. A… » 6/11/15 5:20pm 6/11/15 5:20pm

Couple Forced to Divorce Because Gays Are Ruining Their Marriage

Well, the rumors are true: Gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of straight marriage. Need proof? Meet an Australian couple who are threatening to divorce if gays get the right to marry. Nick and Sarah Jensen believe that once those heathen gays can vow everlasting love to each other (and get equal rights), their own… » 6/10/15 2:00pm 6/10/15 2:00pm

Judge Declares Mistrial, Dismisses Juror for Flirting with Defendant  

A judge in Sydney, Australia reportedly declared a mistrial after a sheriff in the courtroom said he saw the female jury foreperson flirting with the defendant. Sydney’s Daily Telegraph says the woman was accused of “flicking her hair, smiling, raising an eyebrow and nodding in a potentially suggestive manner at the… » 6/08/15 7:00pm 6/08/15 7:00pm

Say Hello to This Newborn Pygmy Hippo

Let’s give a warm welcome to an adorable new animal friend. A baby pygmy hippopotamus has made his dazzling debut at Melbourne Zoo. The tiny, yet-to-be-named hippo was the first one to be born at the zoo in 34 years. He’s doing well with his growth progress, putting on up to half a kilogram a day reports The Guardian.… » 6/07/15 11:30pm 6/07/15 11:30pm

Unusually Buff Kangaroo Moves Into Australian Neighborhood

A kangaroo with unusually large muscles has recently taken up residence in a Brisbane suburb, prompting locals to ask, “Who’s this new stud in town?” The kangaroo is like, “Bro, do you even lift?” Resident Linda Hellyar almost ran into the animal when she was out walking her dogs one day. “He’s very intimidating. He’s… » 5/23/15 5:30pm 5/23/15 5:30pm

Is Rebel Wilson 29, 35, or a 36-Year-Old Liar Named Melanie Bownds?

Depending on who you believe, the woman currently starring in Pitch Perfect 2 as Fat Amy is either a 29-year-old named Rebel Wilson, a 35-year-old named Rebel Wilson, or a 36-year-old named Melanie Bownds. The Sydney Morning Herald (whose perfect URL is smh.com.au) reports today that “Australian business records… » 5/19/15 9:50am 5/19/15 9:50am

Australian News Anchor Congratulates Biracial Twin for Looking White

Last month in Australia, a Sunrise morning news anchor named Samantha Armytage interviewed Lucy and Maria Aylmer, biracial fraternal twins, and loosed her racist inner self. In her introduction, Armytage described the pair as Maria who has “taken after her half-Jamaican mum” and Lucy who “got her dad’s fair skin, good… » 4/28/15 4:10pm 4/28/15 4:10pm

These Koalas Don't Give a Shit About Traveling First Class

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Singapore’s independence, Australia is loaning the city state four adorable (and highly vicious) koalas. While the drop bears will be flying in crates, Qantas staged a photo shoot in which the koalas enjoyed first class treatment on an airplane. And the little monsters couldn’t… » 4/13/15 2:20pm 4/13/15 2:20pm

109-Year-Old Man Spends His Time Knitting Sweaters for Tiny Penguins

I hope you don't have a heart condition, because what you're about to read might make that beating mass in the center of your chest burst with the type of feelings overload that can only be prompted by a human interest piece about Australia's oldest man and his adorable, inspirational hobby. » 2/11/15 6:40pm 2/11/15 6:40pm

Colleen McCullough Obit Leads by Calling Her 'Plain' and 'Overweight'

Here's how one Australian paper began its obit for a beloved author: "Colleen McCullough, Australia's bestselling author, was a charmer. Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was, nevertheless a woman of wit and warmth. In one interview, she said: 'I've never been into clothes or figure and the interesting… » 1/30/15 11:10am 1/30/15 11:10am