Jezebel
self-help
Posts Tagged “
Astrology
”
self-help
crappy hour
And The $300 Million Defense Contract Goes To...The 22-Year-Old Abusive Boyfriend Who Never Had A Job!
Do you ever wonder, where do the weapons our Pentagon is buying to supply the Afghan counterinsurgency actually come from? Well, duh, China, but, let's start over. Meet Efraim Diveroli. He has some sort of $300 million Pentagon contract to supply ammunition to the government. He also has: never had a real job, a drinking problem, a woman with a restraining order against him, a beautiful headquarters in the heart of Miami Beach, a 25-year-old VP whose only certification in anything is that he is a licensed masseur, and wiretaps of him talking about bribing the Albanian defense department by sending him whores. And all of this makes sense because Efraim Diveroli is 22 YEARS OLD. Yeah, we talked about our allies in Pakistan and John McCain, Chelsea Clinton and that douchebag who asked her about Monica, polling data, where that Bosnia story really came from, Donald Trump, corporate profits and our hangovers — oh and don't miss the riveting discussion of our Facebook horoscopes and Diddy and Tupac— but shit gets really epic when Glamocracy's Megan and I get down to...which under-25 year old Israeli mob arms dealer we'd rather get down with! Jump. More »
Instant Karma
As a penance for stoning two dogs to death in his teens, an Indian man is gettin' hitched. P. Selvakumar, married a bitch (literally!) named Selvi, chosen by his family members and then dressed in a sari. According to Selvakumar, after he killed two dogs and hung their bodies from a tree, "my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear." An astrologer told him the only way to improve his karma was to get married to a dog to absolve his past sins. Let's hope Selvakumar knows there's another sort of animal abuse he should avoid; it's called bestiality. [MSNBC]
As a penance for stoning two dogs to death in his teens, an Indian man is gettin' hitched. P. Selvakumar, married a bitch (literally!) named Selvi, chosen by his family members and then dressed in a sari. According to Selvakumar, after he killed two dogs and hung their bodies from a tree, "my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear." An astrologer told him the only way to improve his karma was to get married to a dog to absolve his past sins. Let's hope Selvakumar knows there's another sort of animal abuse he should avoid; it's called bestiality. [MSNBC]
love is blind but stars are not
Science Way Less Accurate Than Astrology, O Finds
Astrology has a scientific basis in FACT! That's what a story in the November O: The Oprah Magazine claims anyway. Basically the way you are can maybe kind of be explained by the amount of sunlight to which you were exposed in the womb, in addition to three trillion other variables they learned about from watching rats. The story explains that if you were born in spring and early summer you are more likely to be dyslexic, suicidal and anorexic whereas you're more likely to be schizophrenic if you're born in the late winter, which jives with "think-outside-the-box" Aquarius and "foot-fixated Taurus." Okay, but let's get to the important part i.e. how this affects us.People born in the fall have been found to be more likely to develop panic disorder and/or drug abuse problems.Which sounds kind of enlightening, though it fails to explain why Virgos get all the panic attacks and Libras get all the liver disease, but we found a fatal flaw to the underlying logic at play here! More »
