Here's Why Everyone's Acting Like April Will Be the Worst Month Ever

If you were thinking April was just another month in another year with your exact same face and Ides in it, then congratulations for not having to be online that much. Because LOOK OUT: Everyone is talking about how it is supposed to be a wild month for all people, relationships, transactions and experiences. Here's… » 4/08/14 2:00pm 4/08/14 2:00pm

So What Are the Soothsayers Saying About 2014?

When a national news outlet like USA Today runs an article about what the country's "seers" are predicting for 2014, it makes one realize how small the distance is between our modern world and a world in which a haruspex in a funny hat would cut open a sheep in front of an anxious crowd, puzzle over the liver, and say… » 1/01/14 2:00pm 1/01/14 2:00pm

Yessss, Mercury in Retrograde Is Here

I showed up over an hour late to a doctor's appointment yesterday because I fucked up my Google Calendar alert — it pinged while I was working from home in a Pippin The Musical T-shirt with coconut oil on my split ends. But the most frustrating aspect of the screw-up was that I couldn't chalk it up to the planet… » 6/26/13 3:30pm 6/26/13 3:30pm

Ebay Has Banned the Sale of Magic and Whimsy in Its Now-Boring…

Etsy isn't the only internet marketplace banning the sale of borderline-disturbing esoterica — eBay, the place where my best friend in eighth grade was able to buy a taser for fifteen American dollars, has announced in its 2012 Fall Seller Update that it will ban the sale of all magic potions, spells and enchantments,… » 8/15/12 9:15pm 8/15/12 9:15pm

Astrologers Explain: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Were Never…

Vampires may be immortal, but in Hollywood, forever is not long at all. And, according to their zodiac signs, long-term true love was never going to happen for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. As of right now, she's apologized for her indiscretion, but Rob's moved out. We ask the cosmos: Will K-Stew and R-Patz… » 8/03/12 6:00pm 8/03/12 6:00pm