This is a story for anyone who’s given up on love. It’s a story of pain, desperation, and longing. It’s a story about the true meaning of commitment and dedication. It’s also a story about a Florida couple who resisted arrest just so they could bang it out one last time in their mobile hame.
WNBA star Brittney Griner filed for an annulment of her marriage to fellow WNBA player Glory Johnson yesterday, one day after Johnson announced that she was expecting a child. There is a lot going on here, so let’s refresh our memories with a timeline.
A Georgia teacher has been fired and arrested after it was reported that he was both permitting and facilitating sexual activity between his middle school students. He provided them with noise-cancellation (via ‘labtop’ [sic]) and other teachers’ schedules so they wouldn’t get caught. The only thing he didn’t supply…
A Montana man who had two warrants out for his arrest could not resist the temptation of “liking” his own wanted poster on Facebook. Could we really blame him? He was obviously seduced by the image of his own mug staring back at him causing his trigger finger to go straight towards it like a magnet. 23-year-old Levi…
Nearly a week after Kim Richards, Queen Bleak of the Real Housewife kingdom, was arrested for battery and public intoxication, she sat down with Dr. Phil to apologize for her actions.
School field trips are officially cancelled forever now that more information has come out about the drug and alcohol-fueled romps two high school teachers took with their students last year. The Orange County teachers, formerly accused only of sexing and boozing, are now being charged with handing out cocaine as well.
Goodbye field trips, last bastion of anything good about school: No parent will ever allow one of their kids to leave school with a teacher (which is fine, they sex there too) after two teachers have been arrested for having sex with students while on some kind of booze-filled spring-break style recapturing of their…
An unnamed teen was arrested yesterday for doing something so unholy even I can't condone it. He literally dick-whipped Jesus Christ. Or a statue of Jesus Christ. Either way, he is definitely going to hell for this. Definitely. (I will see you there shortly.)
A very reasonable man in St. Petersburg, Florida took a novel approach to being questioned by police about peeking into windows last week. He told the officers he was looking for "Tony" (aren't we all?) and then proceeded to try and beat the shit out of a fire hydrant. Because fuck fire hydrants for being dirty…
Crime-fighting rodent Justice Beaver is about to get a little more adorable and a little less "misunderstood ruffian" because he'll soon be going through his first (and hopefully last) round of anger management classes in connection to that one time he did drag racing and got caught.
According to the AP, a judge has ruled one of the girls arrested in the alleged "Slender Man stabbing" currently incompetent to stand trial and ordered her committed for treatment. A state psychiatrist testified she claims to see unicorns and Voldemort, as well as Slender Man. "Despite our very serious conversation,…
I first read about fighting fire with fire in an old Tin-Tin comic I had borrowed from the library in the hopes that I would one day be interested in adventure (no. It's the napping life for me). In the comic, Tin Tin sets some grass on fire to put out another fire that is coming towards him and his merry band of…
A South Carolina woman was arrested on Thursday for the most egregious crime known to man: keeping a home video of Monster In Law nine years after it was due back at the video store. Kayla Michelle Finley was taken into custody when she attempted to report a crime at the local police station and learned that she had…
For the second time in 15 years, June Ann Blocker has rammed a car through her local Kroger. This time, she purchased a new one — a four-door Lincoln— hours before she used it to plow through the front of the Elizabethtown, Kentucky store. Blocker's dispute appears to have to do with a long-standing vendetta against…
Texas actor John R. Morales has been sentenced to 16 years in prison for possession of drugs, weapons, and generally not taking a bite out of crime.
A teacher at Matthew Turner Elementary in Benicia, CA was arrested yesterday after it was determined that she had brought Marijuana-laced edibles (ha?) to an after-hours employee potluck in November. While it is unclear what Theresa Gilmete Badger brought (god, please let it be baked goods) to the event, it is…
Two strong contenders for "Worst Parent of the Year" emerged on Friday, coming in just under the Jan. 1 deadline by forcing/letting/helping their toddler smoke weed.
A Kuwaiti woman arrested in al-Khafji, a small Saudi town close to the border of Kuwait, is still in custody "pending investigations" after illegally operating a motor vehicle. Her father, suffering from diabetes, could not drive and had to be taken to the hospital for urgent treatment.
The Amanda Bynes entropy cycle has reached an unfortunate (and probably inevitable) new stage: the actress is rumored to have been arrested in her Midtown apartment late Thursday night after a bong-tossing confrontation with NYPD officers.
Last week we were introduced to the tragic story of Heaven Sutton, a seven-year-old girl who was shot and killed while selling candy and snow cones outside her Chicago home. Well, now there's a small piece of good news in an otherwise very sad situation: Police have arrested and charged a 26-year-old gang member with…
