California Teachers Now Openly Sexing Drunk Kids on The Beach

Goodbye field trips, last bastion of anything good about school: No parent will ever allow one of their kids to leave school with a teacher (which is fine, they sex there too) after two teachers have been arrested for having sex with students while on some kind of booze-filled spring-break style recapturing of their… » 1/18/15 8:06pm 1/18/15 8:06pm

Florida Man Picks Fight With Fire Hydrant When Asked About Prowling

A very reasonable man in St. Petersburg, Florida took a novel approach to being questioned by police about peeking into windows last week. He told the officers he was looking for "Tony" (aren't we all?) and then proceeded to try and beat the shit out of a fire hydrant. Because fuck fire hydrants for being dirty… » 8/19/14 5:45pm 8/19/14 5:45pm

Florida Mom Arrested After Beating Up 12-Year Old To Stop Bullying

I first read about fighting fire with fire in an old Tin-Tin comic I had borrowed from the library in the hopes that I would one day be interested in adventure (no. It's the napping life for me). In the comic, Tin Tin sets some grass on fire to put out another fire that is coming towards him and his merry band of… » 3/08/14 5:30pm 3/08/14 5:30pm

Woman Arrested for Not Returning J.Lo VHS for 9 Years

A South Carolina woman was arrested on Thursday for the most egregious crime known to man: keeping a home video of Monster In Law nine years after it was due back at the video store. Kayla Michelle Finley was taken into custody when she attempted to report a crime at the local police station and learned that she had… » 2/15/14 12:45pm 2/15/14 12:45pm

Woman Buys Car Just to Ram It Into a Kroger (For the Second Time)

For the second time in 15 years, June Ann Blocker has rammed a car through her local Kroger. This time, she purchased a new one — a four-door Lincoln— hours before she used it to plow through the front of the Elizabethtown, Kentucky store. Blocker's dispute appears to have to do with a long-standing vendetta against… » 2/08/14 2:45pm 2/08/14 2:45pm

Teacher Confused by Meaning of Potluck, Arrested for Bringing Pot

A teacher at Matthew Turner Elementary in Benicia, CA was arrested yesterday after it was determined that she had brought Marijuana-laced edibles (ha?) to an after-hours employee potluck in November. While it is unclear what Theresa Gilmete Badger brought (god, please let it be baked goods) to the event, it is… » 1/25/14 12:00pm 1/25/14 12:00pm

Gang Member Arrested in Murder of 7-Year-Old Chicago Girl Killed While…

Last week we were introduced to the tragic story of Heaven Sutton, a seven-year-old girl who was shot and killed while selling candy and snow cones outside her Chicago home. Well, now there's a small piece of good news in an otherwise very sad situation: Police have arrested and charged a 26-year-old gang member with… » 7/01/12 9:45pm 7/01/12 9:45pm

NYPD Arrests and Frisks Nude Model in Body Paint

Of all the dangers facing New Yorkers, naked models covered in body paint probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind. And yet the NYPD has taken it upon themselves to protect the Big Apple from such indecent scenes. Today a model who was arrested and frisked after taking part in an art project has filed suit… » 6/19/12 11:15pm 6/19/12 11:15pm

Things Get Ugly in Virginia as Riot Police Crack Down on Pro-Choice…

After whipping up a mighty storm of fury across the country, a bill in Virginia that would require women to have an ultrasound before being able to have an abortion caused some trouble more locally this weekend. About a thousand people turned out at the state capitol on Saturday to protest the bill, and 31 of them… » 3/05/12 9:40am 3/05/12 9:40am