Apple Will Engrave 'Penis' on Your iPad but Not 'Vagina' or 'Clit'

Today in absolutely fucking absurd and transparent gender bias rooted in the widespread male terror of women's mysterious, swampy genitals, Apple apparently refuses to engrave "vagina" or "clit" on anyone's iPad! You can, however, get "penis" or "dick" permanently etched into your electronics with no trouble… » 7/09/14 7:00pm 7/09/14 7:00pm

The Woman Behind Siri's Voice Reveals Herself: 'It's Kinda Creepy'

One of the world's greatest, most enduring mysteries has finally been solved. No, we haven't figured out what Stonehenge is for, how the pyramids were built, who really killed JFK, what caused the Bloop, the identity of the man in the Taman Shud case, or why Jennifer Aniston keeps getting roles in major studio films… » 10/04/13 11:50am 10/04/13 11:50am

Orangutans Are Hooked on Technology Just Like the Rest of Us

Not unlike how many of us play games on Facebook to kill time until it's five o'clock, orangutans at Smithsonian's National Zoo are utilizing iPads so they don't go nutso. Because being trapped in a small enclosure can be depressing, it's exciting when zoos strive to incorporate engaging enrichment. The iPads were a… » 1/29/13 11:15pm 1/29/13 11:15pm

Let the Quipping Begin: Apple Might Take Orange’s Place in Sponsoring…

A funny thing might be happening to the Orange Prize for Fiction, a prestigious literary award that recognizes novels written by women — its sponsor might be changing! Oh, wait, I told it wrong — the funny part is that the new sponsor might be none other than the company founded by a notorious Men in Black-esque… » 8/13/12 9:15pm 8/13/12 9:15pm

Thank the Lord; There's a Christian-Friendly Version of the iPad

Want to get a family iPad, but worry that the Apple product is too chock-full of knowledge (i.e. Satan)? You are in luck! The Edifi, available through online retailer Family Christian, is the first exclusively Christian e-tablet on market, offering a pleasant, limited and fully Christian selection of information such… » 6/25/12 3:30pm 6/25/12 3:30pm

Massey Brothers Slap Bristol Palin With Serious Allegations Of Being…

Kyle and Christopher Massey, brothers and former and current Disney stars respectively (Zooey 101, That's So Raven, and spinoff Cory In The House, filed a suit in federal court today against dilettante and professional asshat Bristol Palin, claiming that they created the reality TV show about Palin's life with son… » 6/20/12 9:00am 6/20/12 9:00am

John Malkovich and Siri Hit It Off, Probably Because He Doesn't Ask Her…

Siri may deny knowing Samuel L. Jackson and be irritated by certain members of the Deschanel family that insist on asking insipid questions about the weather, but she apparently does like some people. In the newest ad for Apple's iPhone 4S, she and John Malkovich seem to share quite a deep connection. Well, as deep… » 5/24/12 9:30am 5/24/12 9:30am

Looks Like Siri Has Been a Sociopath All Along

Siri can be used for many purposes — from telling Zooey Deschanel that when water falls from the sky, that's called "rain" to claiming she doesn't know who Samuel L. Jackson is (seriously! Ask her! She'll lie!) But did you know that Siri can also be a malevolent entity worthy of her own series of R. L. Stein books? » 5/23/12 3:05pm 5/23/12 3:05pm

Someday Buying a Vibrator Will Be as Boring as Buying an iPod

What if buying a vibrator were as commonplace and uneventful as popping into the Apple store for an iPod or buying a juicer from Williams-Sonoma? That's exactly what Ethan Imboden, founder of the company Jimmyjane is aiming for, and he's well on his way to achieving it. For nearly a decade, he's been a pioneer in… » 5/15/12 1:30pm 5/15/12 1:30pm

Eau de Macbook, the Fragrance for Truly Obsessive Apple Fans

Searching for a way to recreate that potent mix of ecstasy and guilt at having blown a hundreds of dollars in a single transaction that comes from purchasing a new Apple product? Looking to become a total geek magnet? Then try a spritz of the new fragrance that captures the scent of a Macbook when it's first removed… » 4/19/12 12:00pm 4/19/12 12:00pm