Hey, Here's A Photo Of Tiger Woods Without His Fake Front Tooth (Yes)

Go with me on this for a second. If you were gonna fly all the way out to Italy to surprise your girlfriend at her job—she's up for a record! this is important to her!—and go through the trouble of letting her family know ahead of time, and having them keep it a secret, you'd probably take a second or two to freshen… » 1/19/15 12:10pm 1/19/15 12:10pm

Jameis Winston To Sit One Half For Yelling "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy"

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston will sit out the first half of the Seminoles' game against Clemson Saturday as punishment for yelling "Fuck her right in the pussy" on a table in the middle of campus Tuesday. » 9/17/14 12:30pm 9/17/14 12:30pm

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the Land, including the… » 7/24/14 2:55pm 7/24/14 2:55pm

Did China's one-child policy actually reduce population growth?

China made huge headlines late last month when it decided to ease its famous "one-child policy" after more than three decades. The policy, requring most couples to have only one child, stands as one of the most famous social experiments of the past century. But how successful was it? » 1/29/14 12:09pm 1/29/14 12:09pm

Get Ready For Some Ultra-Crappy Olympic Figure Skating Coverage

If you were hoping against hope that you'd be able to enjoy the Sochi Winter Olympics this February, despite all the Russian anti-gay fuckery, because cuddling up with your couch blanket and mug of spiked apple cider for days and days of prime-time coverage of figure skating is your idea of a little slice of glitter… » 1/06/14 4:15pm 1/06/14 4:15pm

Delta Bumps Entire Flight For Florida Basketball Team

About 50 passengers were told that their fully booked flight had been canceled because of a mechanical problem. That's when they noticed the Gators basketball team boarding. » 12/03/13 9:06am 12/03/13 9:06am

Boom: Four Steubenville School Officials Indicted in Teen Rape Case

This morning, Ohio's Republican Attorney General Mike DeWine announced the findings of a grand jury investigation into the roles Steubenville school officials played in covering up the town's now-infamous sexual assault of a girl by football players a year ago in August. Among those charged? The school's… » 11/25/13 12:40pm 11/25/13 12:40pm

Sasha Obama Causes Nationwide Unicorn Sweater Shortage

On Sunday, Sasha Obama wore a sweater with a unicorn on it to a basketball game. By Thursday, unicorn sweaters had gone extinct. (Is "extinct" the word for a sweater selling out? Maybe it should be.) » 11/21/13 2:30pm 11/21/13 2:30pm

Albuquerque Voters Say 'Hell No' To Abortion Ban

Yesterday, a proposed ban on abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy was rejected by voters of Albuquerque. We're not talking a polite "it's not you, it's me" kind of rejection. We're talking changing your phone number-level rejection. We're talking Moving To Another City Without Telling You kind of rejection. Here's… » 11/20/13 11:40am 11/20/13 11:40am

Jackie O's Pink Suit Will Remain Hidden Away Until We're All Dead

Fifty years ago this week, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas as he rode in a motorcade alongside his wife Jacqueline. The now-iconic blood-spattered pink suit that the First Lady wore that day hasn't been seen in public since, but not because it's missing; it's because it's locked in a vault… » 11/18/13 4:30pm 11/18/13 4:30pm

Cofounder of Pinkberry Turns Out to Be a Bad, Violent Person

In case you missed it: this weekend, Young Lee, a cofounder of Pinkberry, was convicted of beating a homeless man in 2011. When even yogurt millionaires turn out to be bad people, who are we as ladies supposed to trust? Et tu, Yoplait? » 11/11/13 3:00pm 11/11/13 3:00pm

Smartphones Are Made for Giant Man-Hands

About a month and a half ago, after years of relentless Blackberry mockery from my plugged in coworkers, I did something pretty out of my typically Luddite character: I bought a smartphone. And so far, I like it just fine. I can listen to Spotify on my phone now, which is nice. And the picture quality is much better… » 11/08/13 7:00pm 11/08/13 7:00pm

I'm Sorry For Making You Read Rielle Hunter's Hilarious Apology Letter

Well, America: you win. Rielle Hunter, who burned herself into the public's eyeballs after an affair with then-married-to-a-cancer-patient Presidential candidate John Edwards that resulted in a child and a short lived career giving jaw droppingly gross interviews, is sorry. She's so sorry she did all those things she… » 10/15/13 4:15pm 10/15/13 4:15pm

Gorilla Named Patrick Sent to Gorilla Therapy for Being a Sexist Jerk

Behold the majestic lowland ape. Marvel at his strength, his wildness. His complete inability to get along with ladies. » 9/24/13 7:20pm 9/24/13 7:20pm

Ban on Female Fighters' Breast Implants Enacted For Douchiest Reasons

Last week, the Louisiana State Boxing and Wrestling Commission issued an "emergency rule" barring women who have breast implants from competing in MMA fights unless they have express written permission from the doctors who performed their surgery. Why? For the douchiest, stupidest possible reasons. » 9/16/13 1:40pm 9/16/13 1:40pm

Of Course Florida is Teeming With Herpes-Infected Monkeys

Casey Anthony, Disney condos, CSI: Miami, and now this. The state of Florida is apparently under threat from a small army of adaptive, herpes-infected monkeys that wildlife officials are now classifying as a "public health hazard." » 9/13/13 11:20am 9/13/13 11:20am

Sydney Leathers Chased Anthony Weiner Through a McDonald's Last Night

After netting only 5%(ish) of the vote in NYC's Democratic Mayoral primary yesterday, prolific sexter Anthony Weiner has little choice but to go limping off into the sunset. But it wouldn't be right if the Saga of Carlos Danger simply petered out. No, in order for this story to properly conclude, America needed… » 9/11/13 10:00am 9/11/13 10:00am

Bill de Blasio, the Anti-Bloomberg, Wins Democratic Mayoral Primary

According to exit poll results, early returns, and the live streaming video from the Team de Blasio block party in Brooklyn, Bill de Blasio will win the democratic mayoral primary, though it’s unclear whether he will hit the 40 percent needed to avoid a runoff. Currently, Thompson is behind de Blasio in votes,… » 9/10/13 10:34pm 9/10/13 10:34pm

We're Just Minutes Away From These Two Women Changing News Forever

At 6 pm EDT today, the 9th of September in the Year Of Our Lorde Two Thousande Thirteene, Judy Woodruff and Gwen Ifill will team up to make broadcast history as the first lady-lady duo to anchor a network evening news broadcast as they take the helm of PBS's NewsHour. Heaven help us. » 9/09/13 5:30pm 9/09/13 5:30pm