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An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes

Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: those eyelashes are… »6/30/15 5:18pm6/30/15 5:18pm

Hope Solo's Redemption Tour Has Begun

The Women’s World Cup starts June 6, and, right on time, frequently-arrested USWNT keeper Hope Solo’s reclamation project is starting up, too. If you’re wondering why this campaign is happening, we have no answers for you; all we can do is point you to the first stop, a long, gushy, and somewhat confused ESPN profile. »6/02/15 4:47pm6/02/15 4:47pm

Darren Sharper's "Penis Monitoring" Is Evil, Retrograde Bullshit

A casual observer might take note of Darren Sharper's pending plea agreement in rape charges spread across at least four years and four different states for any number of the obvious reasons—this is, after all, a case involving a former NFL All-Pro being revealed as a serial rapist. One of those reasons, though, would… »4/13/15 4:45pm4/13/15 4:45pm

Hey, Here's A Photo Of Tiger Woods Without His Fake Front Tooth (Yes)

Go with me on this for a second. If you were gonna fly all the way out to Italy to surprise your girlfriend at her job—she's up for a record! this is important to her!—and go through the trouble of letting her family know ahead of time, and having them keep it a secret, you'd probably take a second or two to freshen… »1/19/15 12:45pm1/19/15 12:45pm

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the Land, including the… »7/24/14 3:49pm7/24/14 3:49pm

Get Ready For Some Ultra-Crappy Olympic Figure Skating Coverage

If you were hoping against hope that you'd be able to enjoy the Sochi Winter Olympics this February, despite all the Russian anti-gay fuckery, because cuddling up with your couch blanket and mug of spiked apple cider for days and days of prime-time coverage of figure skating is your idea of a little slice of glitter… »1/06/14 4:15pm1/06/14 4:15pm

Boom: Four Steubenville School Officials Indicted in Teen Rape Case

This morning, Ohio's Republican Attorney General Mike DeWine announced the findings of a grand jury investigation into the roles Steubenville school officials played in covering up the town's now-infamous sexual assault of a girl by football players a year ago in August. Among those charged? The school's… »11/25/13 12:40pm11/25/13 12:40pm

Albuquerque Voters Say 'Hell No' To Abortion Ban

Yesterday, a proposed ban on abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy was rejected by voters of Albuquerque. We're not talking a polite "it's not you, it's me" kind of rejection. We're talking changing your phone number-level rejection. We're talking Moving To Another City Without Telling You kind of rejection. Here's… »11/20/13 11:40am11/20/13 11:40am

Jackie O's Pink Suit Will Remain Hidden Away Until We're All Dead

Fifty years ago this week, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas as he rode in a motorcade alongside his wife Jacqueline. The now-iconic blood-spattered pink suit that the First Lady wore that day hasn't been seen in public since, but not because it's missing; it's because it's locked in a vault… »11/18/13 4:30pm11/18/13 4:30pm

I'm Sorry For Making You Read Rielle Hunter's Hilarious Apology Letter

Well, America: you win. Rielle Hunter, who burned herself into the public's eyeballs after an affair with then-married-to-a-cancer-patient Presidential candidate John Edwards that resulted in a child and a short lived career giving jaw droppingly gross interviews, is sorry. She's so sorry she did all those things she… »10/15/13 4:15pm10/15/13 4:15pm