If you were hoping against hope that you'd be able to enjoy the Sochi Winter Olympics this February, despite all the Russian anti-gay fuckery, because cuddling up with your couch blanket and mug of spiked apple cider for days and days of prime-time coverage of figure skating is your idea of a little slice of glitter…

This morning, Ohio's Republican Attorney General Mike DeWine announced the findings of a grand jury investigation into the roles Steubenville school officials played in covering up the town's now-infamous sexual assault of a girl by football players a year ago in August. Among those charged? The school's…

On Sunday, Sasha Obama wore a sweater with a unicorn on it to a basketball game. By Thursday, unicorn sweaters had gone extinct. (Is "extinct" the word for a sweater selling out? Maybe it should be.)

Yesterday, a proposed ban on abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy was rejected by voters of Albuquerque. We're not talking a polite "it's not you, it's me" kind of rejection. We're talking changing your phone number-level rejection. We're talking Moving To Another City Without Telling You kind of rejection. Here's…

Fifty years ago this week, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas as he rode in a motorcade alongside his wife Jacqueline. The now-iconic blood-spattered pink suit that the First Lady wore that day hasn't been seen in public since, but not because it's missing; it's because it's locked in a vault…

In case you missed it: this weekend, Young Lee, a cofounder of Pinkberry, was convicted of beating a homeless man in 2011. When even yogurt millionaires turn out to be bad people, who are we as ladies supposed to trust? Et tu, Yoplait?

About a month and a half ago, after years of relentless Blackberry mockery from my plugged in coworkers, I did something pretty out of my typically Luddite character: I bought a smartphone. And so far, I like it just fine. I can listen to Spotify on my phone now, which is nice. And the picture quality is much better…

Well, America: you win. Rielle Hunter, who burned herself into the public's eyeballs after an affair with then-married-to-a-cancer-patient Presidential candidate John Edwards that resulted in a child and a short lived career giving jaw droppingly gross interviews, is sorry. She's so sorry she did all those things she…

Behold the majestic lowland ape. Marvel at his strength, his wildness. His complete inability to get along with ladies.

Last week, the Louisiana State Boxing and Wrestling Commission issued an "emergency rule" barring women who have breast implants from competing in MMA fights unless they have express written permission from the doctors who performed their surgery. Why? For the douchiest, stupidest possible reasons.

Casey Anthony, Disney condos, CSI: Miami, and now this. The state of Florida is apparently under threat from a small army of adaptive, herpes-infected monkeys that wildlife officials are now classifying as a "public health hazard."

After netting only 5%(ish) of the vote in NYC's Democratic Mayoral primary yesterday, prolific sexter Anthony Weiner has little choice but to go limping off into the sunset. But it wouldn't be right if the Saga of Carlos Danger simply petered out. No, in order for this story to properly conclude, America needed Sydney…

At 6 pm EDT today, the 9th of September in the Year Of Our Lorde Two Thousande Thirteene, Judy Woodruff and Gwen Ifill will team up to make broadcast history as the first lady-lady duo to anchor a network evening news broadcast as they take the helm of PBS's NewsHour. Heaven help us.

Last week, Abercrombie announced to its army of cologne-encrusted employees a new crackdown in the company's oft ridiculed appearance guidelines. Gone are the days of creative coiffage, of chunky highlights and ombres; now any and all haircuts and styles must appear "natural" or else you run the risk of getting…

For a guy who ostensibly lies a lot, Anthony Weiner is remarkably bad at lying. And, uh, answering questions.

ICYMI: San Diego mayor Bob Filner was slated to deliver the keynote address at a benefit for survivors of military sexual assault. At the benefit, he was supposed to receive a lifetime achievement award. Then, a few women came forward and pointed out that the only award Filner should get vis a vis unwanted sexual…

Someone send this guy a cape. Since George Zimmerman, who killed — BUT DID NOT MURDER — Trayvon Martin "rescued" a "family" of "four" from a "car" "wreck" earlier this week, conspiracy theories have abounded about the circumstances to Zimmerman just HAPPENING to be right near a place where a car overturned in time to…

When that red-faced becostumed gentleman announced the birth of Prince William and Duchess Kate's baby boy by holding a scroll and yelling, I remember thinking, Is this the IRL Wee Willy Winkie? followed by Boy is the monarchy both charming and weird and outdated. Well, folks — I have to issue a thought retraction.…