Even Matt and Ben Know That Syfy Is the Most Important Cable Network

The Syfy Network is the most important channel on cable television, with or without the Sharknado franchise. It has Face Off and Defiance and Dominion. It has Ghost Hunters which has aired for approximately 37 years. Syfy is the greatest. American tastemakers Affleck and Damon recognize this, and now they want to get… »10/13/14 6:10pm10/13/14 6:10pm

You'll Be Jealous of Your Local Prepper Chick When the SHTF and YOYO

Are doomsday preppers batshit weirdo lunatics or just worriers who happen to be very resourceful? The stereotypical prepper type is at least an easy punchline. You know, marginalized white dudes, crazies, ex-military, religious freaks — outlier types who take a little too easily to conspiracy theories and are… »3/08/13 7:00pm3/08/13 7:00pm

The Hippie Ravers who Partied Through the Mayan Apocalypse in Mexico Sound Fucking Annoying

Last week, the apocalypse did not occur when the Mayan calendar rolled over to all zeroes like an odometer. But people gathered near the Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza anyway, just in case some great new cosmic age of enlightenment and positivity happened to dawn. Spending three days there must have been really annoying. »12/26/12 4:10pm12/26/12 4:10pm

We've Fucked Over the Environment So Now We Have to Eat Bugs and Play in Poop

Are you happy now, humans? Are you happy? It's 2012 and the prognosis is not good. The glaciers are melting, the polar bears are drowning, the people of Vanuatu are floating around their living rooms in washtubs like Pippi Longstocking or some shit, and I never even got to look at a glacier or pet a polar bear OR hang… »10/04/12 5:00pm10/04/12 5:00pm

Snooki & Newt Gingrich Become BFFs as Apocalypse Draws Nigh

Last night, Jay Leno interviewed both current Jersey Shore Madonna With Child Snooki and once and always pompous pain in the ass Newt Gingrich. Two totally different expressions of everything that is wrong with America, on a show hosted by a guy who probably appeals to people who appreciated the Garfield movie. And… »7/19/12 10:50am7/19/12 10:50am

Good News: The 2012 Apocalypse Isn't Happening After All

Phew. You guys, take a deep breath and release all the tension you've been storing in your neck about the upcoming apocalypse—because it ain't happening. Seriously? Yes. Archaeologists have just discovered a previously hidden mural inside an ancient Mayan house that offers insight into all kinds of things—like the… »5/10/12 11:55pm5/10/12 11:55pm

Here's Your Chance to Live in a Luxury Condo That Can Protect You From Nuclear Attack

If you're one of those people who lives in constant fear of the outside world, this might be the ideal place for you to live! It's a condo complex that's built into a former nuclear missile silo in the middle of Kansas. That's about as secure as it gets. According to CBS News, "It's the only condo in the world… »1/08/12 12:50pm1/08/12 12:50pm