Even Matt and Ben Know That Syfy Is the Most Important Cable Network

The Syfy Network is the most important channel on cable television, with or without the Sharknado franchise. It has Face Off and Defiance and Dominion. It has Ghost Hunters which has aired for approximately 37 years. Syfy is the greatest. American tastemakers Affleck and Damon recognize this, and now they want to get… » 10/13/14 6:10pm 10/13/14 6:10pm

You'll Be Jealous of Your Local Prepper Chick When the SHTF and YOYO

Are doomsday preppers batshit weirdo lunatics or just worriers who happen to be very resourceful? The stereotypical prepper type is at least an easy punchline. You know, marginalized white dudes, crazies, ex-military, religious freaks — outlier types who take a little too easily to conspiracy theories and are… » 3/08/13 7:00pm 3/08/13 7:00pm

The Hippie Ravers who Partied Through the Mayan Apocalypse in Mexico…

Last week, the apocalypse did not occur when the Mayan calendar rolled over to all zeroes like an odometer. But people gathered near the Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza anyway, just in case some great new cosmic age of enlightenment and positivity happened to dawn. Spending three days there must have been really annoying. » 12/26/12 4:10pm 12/26/12 4:10pm

When the World Ends on Friday, Men Will Regret Not Having Had More Sex

A Harris Interactive poll commissioned by California online data-storage company Backblaze found that one in five Americans is genuinely concerned that the world will come to an end this Friday. We have to take the this with a huge grain of salt because it's in no way a real survey, but still: Damn. » 12/18/12 9:30am 12/18/12 9:30am

We've Fucked Over the Environment So Now We Have to Eat Bugs and Play…

Are you happy now, humans? Are you happy? It's 2012 and the prognosis is not good. The glaciers are melting, the polar bears are drowning, the people of Vanuatu are floating around their living rooms in washtubs like Pippi Longstocking or some shit, and I never even got to look at a glacier or pet a polar bear OR hang… » 10/04/12 5:00pm 10/04/12 5:00pm

Snooki & Newt Gingrich Become BFFs as Apocalypse Draws Nigh

Last night, Jay Leno interviewed both current Jersey Shore Madonna With Child Snooki and once and always pompous pain in the ass Newt Gingrich. Two totally different expressions of everything that is wrong with America, on a show hosted by a guy who probably appeals to people who appreciated the Garfield movie. And… » 7/19/12 10:50am 7/19/12 10:50am

Good News: The 2012 Apocalypse Isn't Happening After All

Phew. You guys, take a deep breath and release all the tension you've been storing in your neck about the upcoming apocalypse—because it ain't happening. Seriously? Yes. Archaeologists have just discovered a previously hidden mural inside an ancient Mayan house that offers insight into all kinds of things—like the… » 5/10/12 11:55pm 5/10/12 11:55pm

Are You Part of the Doomsday 10 Percent?

A new poll has found that almost 15 percent of people on the planet think the world is going to come to an end during their lifetime. What's even more bizarre is that a full 10 percent of people worldwide think the Mayan calendar points to it ending right here in 2012. Are you one of them? If so, why aren't you out in… » 5/02/12 11:00pm 5/02/12 11:00pm

Introducing Jezebel's 2012 Monthly Apocalypse Index

As we all know, 2012 is the year the world as we know it will cease to exist. The Mayans said so! And so did that one movie with John Cusack. Sure, there are plenty of signs that the apocalypse is not mere months away. But then again, John Cusack wouldn't lie, would he? It's confusing. That's why we have Jezebel's… » 2/03/12 1:35pm 2/03/12 1:35pm

Here's Your Chance to Live in a Luxury Condo That Can Protect You From…

If you're one of those people who lives in constant fear of the outside world, this might be the ideal place for you to live! It's a condo complex that's built into a former nuclear missile silo in the middle of Kansas. That's about as secure as it gets. According to CBS News, "It's the only condo in the world… » 1/08/12 12:50pm 1/08/12 12:50pm

All Dogs Don't Go To Heaven, So Make Plans For Post-Rapture Pet Care

While preparing for The Rapture, which will be held this Saturday, rain or shine, some people have been worrying about what will become of their pets after they rise up to heaven. The company Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has stepped in to match pets with new atheist owners for a small investment of $135 for the first pet… » 5/19/11 10:50am 5/19/11 10:50am