Is Justice Scalia's Wife an Anti-Abortion Pregnancy Counselor?

A reliable voice against abortion, contraception, and really anything that doesn't directly promote the welfare of white Christian landowners, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a talk radio absorbing lunatic who thinks Satan is, like, a real guy. He's also married to a woman who once sat on the board of a… » 4/22/14 6:50pm 4/22/14 6:50pm

Swearing Ladies Are Ruining America, and More Dumb Shit Scalia Says

We all knew that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a testicularly prolific, Judge Judy-level sassy Constitutional originalist who probably turns his chair around backward before he sits in it because he doesn't follow anyone's rules* (*Except the Founding Fathers, and he's a real nerd about it). But in an… » 10/07/13 2:30pm 10/07/13 2:30pm

Coolest Pope Ever Urges Catholics to Chill Out About Abortion and Gays

Pope Francis, the hippest, most bro'd down Pope since Pope Brad the Chill (not a real pope), just did a long interview with an Italian newspaper — and it was the stuff of right wing nightmares. During the interview, the head of the Church stopped just short of chiding modern church leaders who are "obsessed" with… » 9/19/13 2:30pm 9/19/13 2:30pm

Resident SCOTUS Troll Antonin Scalia Parallels Between Homosexuality…

As if we needed more reasons to bite off all our nails at the prospect of the Supreme Court taking on Prop. 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act early next year: U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia got more than a tad defensive regarding some of his legal writings about homosexuality while speaking at Princeton… » 12/11/12 1:20pm 12/11/12 1:20pm

What Does the Supreme Court Ruling on Obamacare Mean for Your Vagina?

This morning, the Supreme Court caused Antonin Scalia's hairy head to rotate 360 degrees and gave liberals something to wet their beds over when it ruled that the Affordable Care Act, or the Health Care Law — or Obamacare if ya nasty— is mostly constitutional, right down to the much-maligned individual insurance… » 6/28/12 12:40pm 6/28/12 12:40pm

A Naked Ass Isn't Worse Than Murder — Except on Television

The Supreme Court's currently considering a case that would effectively lift the more stringent decency standards to which network TV programming is currently held. Networks say that it's not fair that cable gets to go out till 2 am and go on dates and stuff when they're stuck memorizing Bible verses at home and… » 1/13/12 1:40pm 1/13/12 1:40pm

Why Hasn't Clarence Thomas Asked A Question In Five Years?

Our most Laconic Supreme Court Justice has spent the last 5 years sitting silently on the bench and not asking any questions, not unlike the popular kids who always sat in the back of your sophomore year World History class. He says he acts that way because he's self conscious of the way he speaks, he owes those… » 2/13/11 12:03pm 2/13/11 12:03pm

Caroline Kennedy Has A Tattoo, Hankering For A Senate Seat

Look! There on her arm! That's not a bruise, it's a tattoo! ZOMG, can you even be a Senator with a tattoo? Can two strong women work together at the State Department without a catfight? Was it ever possible that power would not corrupt powerful Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel? Can the Huffington Post » 12/09/08 10:00am 12/09/08 10:00am

McCain Campaign, CBS Journalists Are Unashamed Of Their Own…

When the chips are down and all the prayers to God to win the election and protect you from witchcraft haven't worked, everyone knows it's time to call in the big guns: the forces of evil. And, if they're too busy helping the Axis of Evil get nukes and shit, well, then you can always call in the forces of pettiness… » 10/09/08 10:00am 10/09/08 10:00am

We Ain't Gonna Take It, And Paulson And Bernanke Ain't Gonna Get It

  • Treasury Secretary Paulson and Fed Chair Bernanke were on the Hill today, metaphorical hats in hands, asking for gobs of money and the ability to spend it with no oversight. Unlike what Sarah Palin actually said about the Bridge To Nowhere, Congress told them, "No thanks." [Washington Post]
  • Dick Cheney tried his hand…
  • » 9/23/08 6:30pm 9/23/08 6:30pm

According to Scalia, People Only Get Rights When There's Nothing At…

  • In a 5-4 ruling today, the Supreme Court has (again) decided that the prisoners at Gitmo deserve some semblance of the rights afforded everyone else imprisoned in this country, like the right to protest to a judge the fact that they've been held for 6 years without charges. In his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia…
  • » 6/12/08 6:30pm 6/12/08 6:30pm