Interpol Kidnapped the Wrong Girl From Mexico and Sent Her to Texas

In Mexico, a 14-year-old girl named Alondra Luna Nunez was forcibly taken from her middle school by Interpol authorities acting on the behalf of a woman in America who claimed to be her mother. She was moved to a neighboring state to sit through an unusual trial, in which her parents, as well as Dorotea Garcia, the… » 4/23/15 1:50pm 4/23/15 1:50pm

A Hundred Years of Testimonies to Ketchup's Supremacy

The recently announced merger of Heinz and Kraft has prompted some to declare ketchup "a comfort food for people who never aged past wearing disposable pants, using fat pencils and shoving their dirty fists in their mouths." Jeb Lund, normally a quick-witted sage, has turned full-blown troll extraordinaire in this… » 3/27/15 4:30pm 3/27/15 4:30pm

TX State Rep Asks Muslims to Renounce Terrorism, Pledge US Allegiance

Meet Molly White, the freshman representative from Texas who carries "rubber fetuses of different sizes in her car" to remind her—and I guess, anyone who gets in her car—of the dangers of abortion, and who is making news again because of a thoughtful message (via the Texas Tribune) she has for the Muslim community in… » 1/29/15 5:10pm 1/29/15 5:10pm

White People Not Thrilled About a Non-White Majority America

The news that white people will no longer be the majority in America by the year 2050 has been out for some time now. But as we inch closer to the day when people of color will be the physical majority (I'm not too optimistic about institutional power), and the inevitable CNN scare graphics and Fox News on-air… » 10/07/14 6:00pm 10/07/14 6:00pm

USA, USA: This Pizza Cake Will Give You a Heart Attack and Diabetes

Welcome to America, land of dreams and opportunity and the only place where someone decided that it would be a good idea to make a cake out of pizza. Because just regular pizza isn't enough. It's broken. You need to fix it so that each bite threatens to give you a stroke. Because what good is dinner if it's not… » 9/30/14 9:30pm 9/30/14 9:30pm

America's Ugliest Accent, Round One: Boston, Baltimore, L.A., Chicago

If you're from Philadelphia, your preferred non-Yuengling beverage is wooder. If you're from New York City, your greatest enemies are the bridge-and-tunnel crowd from Lawng Island. If you're from Los Angeles, you respond to people who hop on the 405 at rush hour with a pained "Whyy-ee?" » 9/29/14 2:38pm 9/29/14 2:38pm

Everyone Taunts a Muslim Woman At 'Ugly' Conservative Benghazi Panel

How's this for a Downworthy headline? Earlier this week, the conservative Heritage Foundation sponsored a panel discussion on #Benghazi and a Muslim woman wearing a headscarf asked the panelists a question. What happened next will truly fulfill every negative conservative stereotype you can imagine. » 6/17/14 9:50am 6/17/14 9:50am

A County-by-County Map of America's Ethnic Roots

The Washington Post has come out with a map that shows the dominant racial ancestry in the United States' 3144 counties. Some results are not surprising: Did you know that there are a lot of Irish people in Boston? It's not a surprise to see African Americans dominate the South and Mexicans dominate the border… » 4/18/14 4:00pm 4/18/14 4:00pm

Rush Limbaugh Has Written a Terrible Magic School Bus Rip-Off for Kids

Since Rush Limbaugh can do very little that is not worthy of immediate and unstinting public ridicule, he has gone ahead and written a children’s book about a suspiciously-named protagonist, a substitute teacher named “Rush Revere” who kidnaps some students in a time machine so he can teach them about the… » 9/05/13 9:10pm 9/05/13 9:10pm

Labor Day Is a Scam To Keep You Poor and Miserable Forever

Labor Day is a complete rip-off. Labor isn't celebrated at all—instead, a single day's break from labor is celebrated. You might think this is a stupid thing to care about, because Labor Day is really just about getting drunk in your yard, again. But that's actually evidence of this very successful con job pulled on… » 9/02/13 1:35pm 9/02/13 1:35pm