In today’s Tweet Beat Nicole Richie harks back to her Simple Life days, Alicia Keys balls out in Paris and Kevin Jonas dispenses political advice.

The inevitable march towards Taylor Swift's new album 1989 continues with a new single, and it's only getting worse: "Welcome To New York" is a gentrification anthem so obtuse it makes one wonder if she is, in fact, trolling at this point. And it calls into question whether rich white-person privilege is, in fact,…

"I’ve met some serious aliens in my life… I’m sure you’ve seen a UFO. Haven’t all of us seen something flying in the sky [at some random time of night] and it’s not the shape of a plane? …I don’t know if I’d go with an alien to space. I would have to feel the alien’s vibe. I’m a vibe person."

After admitting on The Talk last week to undergoing eye enlargement surgery at the behest of a racist Dayton, Ohio TV studio back in '95, Julie Chen has clarified that she has not had a nose job. Any difference you see above is due to expert contouring, witchcraft and wizardry.

Lest we think Justin Theroux is little more than a B-list actor completely devoid of personality, before he got together with the Ol' Ball and Chain Jennifer Aniston, he had a yen for old-timey STD wax figures, he told GQ.

Now that Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise have been away from the Xenu madness and securely ensconced in the filthy bosom of Manhattan for some time, the 7-year-old child can go about having a totally normal childhood. Which now involves ghost-designing a fashion line that's worth more than Reese Witherspoon's new property

A poised and hella grown-uppish Prince Michael Jackson has landed a job as a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight, a pretty impressive gig for a 16-year-old although though my impulse is to yell at him to stay the fuck away from show business and go work at the Dairy Queen like a normal teenager because I…

In today's Tweet Beat, someone hacks Alicia Keys' twitter account only to tweet about drake, Anna Kendrick is getting unclear messages for Valentine's Day, Jose Canseco questions the Pope and — congratulations— we get a surprise appearance by Dourtney.

Daily Beast editor Tina Brown ripped into RiRi on Twitter today, calling the singer a "big fat zero" for standing by Chris Brown in court.

It's hard to start the weekend off on a snarky note, especially when Maya Angelou started off her third annual Black History Month program on public radio with such sincerity by teaching professional singer Alicia Keys how to sing, thereby proving that none of us should ever stop learning. The AP explained that…

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a…