Let’s go into the weekend celebrating the rare occurrence of some good abortion news! The Alaska Supreme Court has deemed a new state law, which requires teens to notify their parents before getting an abortion, unconstitutional.
Two hikers had to be rescued from the Alaskan wilderness by Denali National Park rangers this weekend after attempting to visit the secluded bus where Christopher McCandless died of starvation, Alaska Dispatch News reports. Apparently this happens a lot.
Three first-grade girls in Alaska have been suspended after their principal said she uncovered a plot they’d hatched to poison and kill a fellow classmate with silica packets. Silica packets aren’t actually poison and first-graders probably don’t have a strong concept about what it means to permanently harm another…
A 68-year-old man who legally changed his name to Santa Claus has been elected to the city council in North Pole, Alaska. Congratulations, Santa Claus.
Specifically, the former president of the North Pole Chamber of Commerce, whose legal name really and truly is “Santa Claus.”
Kathleen Tonn is many things: She’s a failed Senate contender, she’s a fan of slouchy hats, she’s a prop enthusiast, and she’s also completely and irrevocably mad, as can be seen from her wonderful testimony at an an assembly meeting in Anchorage, Alaska, during which she vehemently protested non-discrimination. No…
As part of his visit to Alaska, Barack Obama made a trip to the far-north fishing village of Dillingham, where a salmon squirted “milt” onto his shoes. That’s a “sperm-containing fluid.” Yup, that fish essentially splooged all over the President’s shoes.
Today, in the Year of our Lord 2015, the heroically patient myth debunkers at Snopes.com have been forced to dismantle the rumor that Mount McKinley is now called “Denali” again because it means “black power” in “Kenyan.” If every word of that sentence made your bullshit alarm go off, congratulations, you have at…
Bristol Palin, abstinence spokesperson, wants you to know that her newly-announced pregnancy was planned and that she isn’t an abstinence spokesperson. Okay!
Politico is reporting that Fox News has not renewed their contract with Governor Sarah Palin, former vice presidential candidate and, as of now, freelance pundit. That’s right. Now she could be anywhere. Check the shower. Check the closet. Does your family have a koi pond? She could be out there in hip-waders, trying…
Nome Superior Court Judge Timothy Dooley may soon be looking for new employment now that the Alaska Commission on Judicial Conduct has issued a complaint against him, alleging that the justice—who’s referred to as “rugged and adventurous”— is also a raging misogynist.
Welcome to Loser Sons of Politics, a new column where members of the Jezebel staff recall with fondness the antics of the loser sons of politicians. Today, with considerably less fondness, we bring you Alaska State Senator Pete Kelly, who believes birth control is for loose women and whose son, Devin, was just charged…
I’m going to tell you the moral of the story before I tell you the story itself: Pick up your dog’s poop. An Alaskan woman learned this the hard way when her wedding ring was returned to her after being thoroughly digested by her dog and shit out on a baseball field. #Blessed.
It is the second-to-last week in February and here on the east coast of these United States, it feels like winter will never end. All the joy is gone. And I am very sorry, but cheeky jokes about winter are no longer funny, because the relentlessly biting cold has frozen my sense of humor.
Charlo Greene is celebrating like crazy today.
Remember that time that the Palins all got together to look at Russia from their house (and just wave to it a little) and instead of a nice gathering where everyone talked about what a hero Bristol was for abstaining from sex, it turned into a fight with some old man calling her a "cunt" and a "slut"? Here's audio.
Back in September, news broke that the Palin clan had apparently been involved in some birthday party altercation back in Wasilla. Well, the cops have released their report on the incident and boy howdy, it doesn't do anybody involved any favors whatsoever.