Dem: 99% of Pro-Life Whites Would Make Daughters Abort Biracial Babies

Earlier this week, the legislature of the great state of Alabama — a state that has, for as long as I can remember, been a national leader in such brag fodder as infant mortality rate, illiteracy, and old-timey racism — passed four anti abortion laws that I'm legally required to describe as "draconian." During the… » 3/06/14 12:00pm 3/06/14 12:00pm

Prancing Elites Will Perform On New Year's Eve, Just Not In A Parade

The Prancing Elites, aka the greatest thing to come out of Alabama since Harper Lee, will not be allowed to walk in a New Year's Eve parade they were scheduled to attend, as fallout from their supposedly "shocking" but really totally awesome Christmas parade performance continues. » 12/27/13 12:00pm 12/27/13 12:00pm

Alabama Sorority Girls Voted Because a Secret Society Told Them To

A secret society called the Machine was apparently behind the spate of free-drink-toting, limo-riding University of Alabama sorority girls who showed up to vote in the Tuscaloosa City Board of Education race last month. » 9/15/13 1:29pm 9/15/13 1:29pm

New Alabama Law Could Close Every Abortion Clinic in the State

Today, Alabama governor Robert Bentley signed HB 57, a Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers (TRAP) bill that would likely force all of the state's abortion clinics to close down. It has a cute name, too: the "Women's Health and Safety Act." Aww, thanks, Bento. (Can we call you Bento?) Alabama women will be laughing… » 4/09/13 6:30pm 4/09/13 6:30pm

Genius Alabama Rep. Says a Baby is the 'Largest Organ in a Body'

The Alabama House of Representatives is set to vote on abortion legislation Tuesday that would impose a variety of uneccesary restrictions on abortion clinics: providers would need to have admitting privileges at local hospitals (not such an easy feat when your local hospital thinks abortion is murder), clinics would… » 2/18/13 3:00pm 2/18/13 3:00pm

Alabama Stubbornly Denies Licensing Application of Prospective…

Alabama, as in "the state of," has once again denied the application of a would-be abortion clinic operator to reopen the New Woman All Women Health Care Facility, which was famously bombed in 1998 by Atlanta Olympic Park bomber Eric Robert Rudolph. State officials had ordered New Woman All Women to close in April,… » 9/13/12 10:00am 9/13/12 10:00am

Conservative Alabama Politician Bill Johnson "Addicted" To Donating Sperm

Former Alabama gubernatorial candidate Bill Johnson, a conservative Christian who opposed gay marriage and unsuccessfully ran for governor in the 2010 GOP primary, is leaving his wife Kathy and her three children from a previous marriage for a new life in New Zealand with children he fathered via sperm donation.… » 5/05/12 5:30pm 5/05/12 5:30pm

For the Millionth Damn Time: The Morning After Pill Is Not the…

Yesterday, the Associated Press reported that a proposed law in Alabama would require women who take the morning after pill to do so in the presence of a physician. This story was repeated across multiple sources, including here. But the bill itself actually isn't about the morning after pill at all — it's about… » 4/20/12 4:40pm 4/20/12 4:40pm

Proposed Law Assumes Women Can't Be Trusted to Take the Morning After…

Yesterday, an Alabama Senate panel approved a measure that will require women who take the morning after pill to do so in the presence of a physician. The pill's available over the counter to women 17 and over and it could not be simpler to take unless you absorbed it by thinking spermy thoughts, so either Alabama… » 4/19/12 4:00pm 4/19/12 4:00pm

A Nation Winces As Santorum Wins Alabama and Mississippi

Lord help us all. Tonight Rick Santorum won both the Alabama and Mississippi primaries, adding more slimy, frothy fuel to the loosely contained forest fire that is his campaign. While this probably won't matter much in the long run—except for further damaging the idea that Mitt Romney can appeal to voters in the… » 3/13/12 11:30pm 3/13/12 11:30pm

Your Depressing Digest of Proposed State Anti-Abortion Laws

Undaunted by public outcry against Virginia's mandatory ultrasound law, lawmakers in several other states have taken up the mantle of solving their respective stomping grounds' whatever crises by restricting how much choice and control a woman has over her body. Here's a little breakdown of the shit sandwiches your… » 3/02/12 3:20pm 3/02/12 3:20pm

Pro-Choice Means Anti-Conscience, and Other Bullshit Rules

Laws defend the rights of pro-life medical professionals to refuse to perform certain procedures with which they morally disagree. But proponents of conscience rights are oddly unwilling to extend similar conscience rights to pro-choice medical professionals who believe that it's morally correct to give women autonomy… » 2/29/12 1:30pm 2/29/12 1:30pm

The Bible Says Teachers Don't Deserve Decent Salaries, According to One …

If you thought that God had never really given much thought to teacher's salaries, you'd be wrong. At least according to Shadrack McGill, a Republican state senator from Alabama. He spoke at a prayer breakfast recently where he passed along some very interesting wisdom from God regarding what teachers should be paid.… » 2/02/12 10:50pm 2/02/12 10:50pm

What If the Alabama Teabagging Incident Involved Women?

An Alabama football fan and his errant ballsack rose to notoriety this month when a video of the man using the sack to teabag a passed out LSU fan's neck made the internet rounds. With some sleuthing and elbow grease, the fan's identity was revealed, he turned himself in, and now he's got himself a sexual battery… » 1/20/12 7:15pm 1/20/12 7:15pm