Donald Trump, a stubbed, recently-severed zombie toe soon to be sworn in as President of the United States, remains steadfast in his interpretation of climate change as “hey, maybe not, I dunno.”
From administration to administration, you can count on one thing about the White House: These nerds love to clown. They especially love to clown on Halloween, often to terrifying effect.
These videos are better than winning $1 million.
It would seem the National Review looked up and realized that suddenly, its stockpile of liberal stereotypes were out of date. The old standbys like "latte-swilling limousine liberals" "hairy-legged radical feminists" and "effete Ivory Tower collectivists" just don't have the same punch. Meet the statistics-spewing,…
Former Vice President and possible sex poodle Al Gore has been separated from his wife Tipper since 2010, but the two haven't taken steps to divorce. That might change now that Al's got himself a giiiiiiirlfriend.
Says Lloyd Grove on The Daily Beast: "Now, four weeks into his multimedia ordeal, Gore hasn't managed to formulate an effective PR strategy to counter the toxic fallout polluting his once-gleaming image."
Two massage therapists have told The Enquirer that Al Gore made unwanted sexual advances when he was their client, following a Portland therapist's similar allegations. One says he "pointed at his erect penis and ordered her, 'Take care of THIS.'"
Apparently Al Gore's accuser's pants are no Lewinsky dress — analysis determined that the pants were not stained with semen. That said, Gore's reputation will likely be stained by the phrase "sex poodle."
Not literally; she's still divorcing him. But not because she believes he got frisky with a Portland masseuse:
When Al Gore's "sex poodle" scandal broke, we wondered if anyone had ever used the phrase before. The answer is yes: Victoria Tennant in 1984's All of Me. And yes, it's still weird.
A rep for the Gores claims they aren't attending Chelsea Clinton's wedding; obviously they weren't invited (or are in the middle of a divorce). But: the super-secret location, Astor Courts, has been revealed! Al can crash. [People, NYDN]
Portland police have decided to re-open the investigation into allegations that Al Gore sexually assaulted massage therapist Molly Hagerty. And the Gore camp is now issuing a firm denial.
Despite reports that The Enquirer declined to pay a rumored $1 million for an interview with Al Gore's accuser, Molly Hagerty has granted them an interview calling Gore a "pervert and sexual predator," and agreed to be named. [Radar]
• In a recent interview, Bristol Palin describes breaking the news about her pregnancy to her mother as being really, really painful. She also has this to say about her role as an advocate for abstinence:
Al Gore's sex scandal is slightly confusing, but thankfully the Taiwanese news service NMA has created this animation explaining how Joey Buttafuoco Gore asked a woman to massage his radioactive loins and roleplay his George W. Bush/Pink sex fantasy. [Videogum]
• According to a study from Cornell University, children of mothers who play favorites are more likely to show depressive symptoms far into adulthood than those who received equal treatment as children.
Whether or not the accusations against Al Gore prove to be true, it's a good moment to remember that his accuser came from a profession that is 85 percent female — one that has struggled for respect, rights, and boundaries.
