Writer Sara Nović was taking a red eye Friday morning. Seated beside her was a doll, serving as a companion to a lone man. In terms of horrible seat companions on a flight, this rates between a drunk couple fighting and someone who has shit their pants. But creepier.

New York art curator Stacy Engman (who has a very colorful Instagram, for what it’s worth) was issued a summons for assault after allegedly biting a fellow first class passenger on a flight from Istanbul to JFK last summer. The best detail of the case: Engman, ever the elegant lady, was wearing a tiara when the biting…

This is Etiquette Monster, Jezebel’s advice column where senior writer Madeleine Davies gets worked up and starts screaming about manners. Have a question about etiquette? Email Madeleine at your own risk.

In news that will scarcely impact how miserable it is to fly, United States airlines are reaching their destinations on time more often than ever before. In fact, the second half of 2015 saw performance records that were “among the best ever.”

Bobby Abtahi, a Dallas attorney who also serves as the vice-chair of the City Plan Commission, tweeted Monday that Virgin Airlines wouldn’t allow him to board a flight in New York. A crew member told him the captain didn’t feel “comfortable” with him on board. Abtahi, a Dallas native, is Iranian-American.

Some 13 million Americans purport to be part of the Mile High Club. Sound like a lot of people? Not when you consider that it only accounts for 4 percent of the American population. What’s more, these Mile High Club members are mostly men.

Dr. Angelica Zen was on her way home from her honeymoon in Bali when her vacation took a last-minute swerve: she ended up delivering a baby on the airplane, thousands of feet in the air.

An unidentified expert traveler caused a flight from Miami to Chicago to make an emergency landing in Indianapolis on Monday afternoon. USA Today reports American Airlines flight 1284 was “just an hour” from its destination when the pilot decided to land after a “screaming woman” just wouldn’t quit with the disruptive…

That’s right, ya coozes! Pissing Contest is back! This week, we’re talking about the worst things that we’ve seen on airplanes and—considering how long it’s been since the last time we did this—I know that you’ve got a bladder full of great stories. Unleash the golden stream and we’ll highlight the best tales of…

For the perpetually cold people out there, true misery is being stuck on an airplane, shivering and praying that your toes are still attached to your feet. When you ask an unsympathetic flight attendant if they could adjust the cabin temperature, your speech is slurry—a sign of hypothermia.

It’s no secret that even the most well-maintained airplane cabins are still crawling all sorts of icky germs. Most travelers are inured to this fact and try not to think about it, but there’s always that one person wiping down their armrests with Wet Ones. This list is for them.

If you’re tired of in-flight Wi-Fi that’s so slow you can’t even Google “how to get the hell off of this ancient airplane,” hang in there. It gets better, hopefully.

I dream when I sleep. In these dreams, airplanes are made of glass, runways are rickety roller coasters, and when I try to hold the hand of the person sitting next to me, his face is as blank as an unused easel. Then I realize his hand is cold because he is either a crash test dummy, or he is already dead.