Here's Virgin America's Surprisingly Fun Safety Video

Virgin America has managed to do the impossible: make it look, for a few minutes, that commercial flights are funky experiences for skinny tie-wearing stylish people having a great time instead of bleak desperate slogs between city outskirts punctuated by elbow fights with surprisingly aggressive Bible-reading… » 10/30/13 11:00am 10/30/13 11:00am

In-Flight Wealth Disparity Is Hastening America’s Cultural Revolution

These bourgeois pigs in business class must be purged from our skies. Why let them board an airplane early, free from the desperate urge to jostle for a space in the overhead bin for their sensible leather carry-on just so they can sip mimosas and sneer at the poor, corn syrup-coated plebes seated in zones 2 through… » 8/17/13 5:00pm 8/17/13 5:00pm

JetBlue Passenger Accused of Groping Sleeping Woman's Thigh Defends…

Unless you're eating poached salmon and having a eunuch fan you with palm fronds in first class while a luxury dental hygienist irrigates your mouth with a few spritzes of Dom Pérignon, air travel is just the worst. You have to lug all your shit to some shitty airport, which is always situated on the outskirts of town… » 3/25/13 11:10am 3/25/13 11:10am

Creepy Airplane Creep Allegedly Used a Racial Slur Before Slapping a…

There are a lot of terrible misdeeds in the annals of air travel, but an incident involving a crying toddler and a racist old creep that allegedly took place on an Atlanta-bound flight last Friday, February 8, might take all the pretzel snack packs. According to the FBI, an apparently cantankerous 60-year-old man got… » 2/17/13 3:30pm 2/17/13 3:30pm

TSA Ruins Dying Woman's End-of-Life Trip to Hawaii, Is Officially The…

The Transportation Security Administration has surpassed "mothers-in-law" as the thing about which Americans most love to bitch. But unlike mothers-in-law, the TSA will never make you a hot meal, and they'll certainly never make sure you have clean towels and sheets when you come to visit because Lord knows the gals… » 10/10/12 4:50pm 10/10/12 4:50pm

Fakers Cut Airport Lines by Requesting Wheelchairs They Don’t Need

Airports — any airport, really, but especially Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta — are a miserable hellpits filled with forced groping, rubbery food, and lonely people working at the magic kit kiosks, hawking trick cards and imploring you to remember that they, too, were young once, full of wild dreams about opening for… » 10/04/12 11:10am 10/04/12 11:10am

Airline’s Baby-Free ‘Quiet Zone’ Doesn’t Really Guarantee Much Quiet

Crying babies are one of about two hundred thousand things that make flying commercial one of the most hellish experiences ever devised by humans, which is why AirAsia, a budget airline in Southeast Asia, will be introducing a "Quiet Zone" in February for passengers who'd rather not be reminded by the wailing of a… » 9/26/12 9:30am 9/26/12 9:30am

Soccer Team Wants Only Female Flight Attendants, Because Ladies Are Way…

If you're a soccer (ugh, fine, football) fan, you'd be hard pressed to find a team bigger or more superstarry than FC Barcelona. But with great fame and power comes great ass ache, as Lionel Messi and his teammates can't seem to go anywhere without getting hounded for autographs and pictures. That's why they've asked… » 9/18/12 3:30pm 9/18/12 3:30pm

Glenn Beck Pouts About How American Airlines Was Mean to Him

Glenn Beck, the media personality who made being a recovering alcoholic his on-air shtick, used his radio show Wednesday to tell his 8 million listeners that an American Airlines flight attendant was rude to him because of his political persuasion, as if Glenn Beck was the first person ever to realize that air travel… » 9/06/12 9:30am 9/06/12 9:30am

A Latvian Airline Really Wants Its Passengers to Make In-Flight Friends

Airlines have noticed that hurtling through the sky in a shrieking tube of metal while fending off questions like, "What's that you're reading, neighbor?" from your socially oblivious seatmate is downright unpleasant, so they're trying really hard to make it be less unpleasant by implementing all sorts of… » 6/09/12 5:00pm 6/09/12 5:00pm

TSA Agents Singling Out Sexy Women for Multiple Body Scans

Several women who flew through Dallas/Fort Worth's airport have filed complaints against the TSA claiming that officials asked them to walk through the body scanners multiple times. Why would female agents do such a thing? So the male agents viewing the scans could get a better look at their bodies. Ew. » 2/15/12 3:55pm 2/15/12 3:55pm

Republicans Say TSA Agents Are Impersonating Cops, Shouldn't Be Called…

In just the past few months, the TSA has come under fire for subjecting elderly women to humiliating (alleged) strip searches and complimenting passengers on their sex toys. Things have gotten so bad that even the TSA admits it needs to reform its policies, but instead of targeting how the agents conduct searches,… » 12/11/11 10:36pm 12/11/11 10:36pm

Two More Elderly Women Say TSA Strip Searched Them

Over the weekend, Lenore Zimmerman reported that on a recent flight from Florida back to her home in New York, TSA agents forced her to pull down her pants and underwear. Apparently, airport officials singled out the Florida to New York route for some special holiday harassment this year, because now two more women… » 12/05/11 10:20pm 12/05/11 10:20pm