When Was the Last Time You Really Thought About Getting Old? 

If there is one thing I can tell you of usefulness in your life as a woman on this planet: You need to get yourself some older lady friends. You need to sit with them, and you need to let them tell you about the world. And you need to take it all in, and you need to be very, very grateful for it. » 3/26/15 12:00pm Thursday 12:00pm

The Clothes People Lying in Wait Inside of Us

"What is the clothes person you are most scared of becoming?" was the question. I can't remember how it came up, but my friend Daoud and I were both able to answer quickly. His description of the Asymmetric Belt Problem was so complete. It fell right out, a perfect thing. That's what made me want to find more… » 3/16/15 6:10pm 3/16/15 6:10pm

Here is How Your Smartphone Is Truly Aging You (It's Not "Tech Neck")

Another day, another mention of how staring at your smartphone is slowly withering you into an unrecognizable pile of sallow, sagging flesh. But I can assure you that "tech neck" is not the only smartphone-induced culprit of rapid aging. It's not just the phone that's going to send you to an early grave, but what's in… » 3/15/15 3:00pm 3/15/15 3:00pm

How Will You Keep Your Vagina Young in 2015?

I don't know you, but I have no doubt you've got self-improvement goals on the docket for 2015. One you may have overlooked while busy going off sugar or increasing overall beauty by 12 to 18 percent is the fact that your vagina is aging faster than you can say cascading wizard sleeve. What to do? » 1/02/15 3:10pm 1/02/15 3:10pm

Baddie Winkle, Trill Weed Grandma, Stealing Your Man Since 1928

Coming in 2015: A Shrine To Jane Fonda, By Jane Fonda

This just in: Jane Fonda, recently turned 77 years young and battling some self-esteem issues (who did this to you, Jane????), has one unused tool left in her emotional health toolbox, and that tool is a mother fucking shrine. » 12/22/14 6:20pm 12/22/14 6:20pm

GQ Tries to Attract Millennials and Olds With Blake Griffin's Abs

GQ is trying to bridge the digital divide, reaching out to The Olds and the Millennials with fashionable, athletic bodies neither sector can achieve unless they are NBA star Blake Griffin. So the editors just put Griffin on the cover, saving themselves the trouble of identifying a regular human being to reach his… » 9/22/14 1:45pm 9/22/14 1:45pm

BREAKING: Esquire Declares 42-Year-Old Women Now Fuckable

Why, used to be, a woman at the age of 42 could hardly be glanced at, much less taken to bed and ravaged shame-free in broad daylight. No longer. Esquire has sent word across all channels that 42-year-old women have been removed from the Do Not Bang list and are no longer off-limits to respectable men. In other news,… » 7/10/14 4:00pm 7/10/14 4:00pm

Move to a Geodesic Dome Because Toxins Are Probably Making You Old

Ever wonder what the car exhaust and UV rays you soak up while walking to work and/or stuck in traffic are doing to your body? Bad news! They're very likely aging you before your time, just like your grueling work schedule and loud-ass neighbors. » 5/28/14 4:40pm 5/28/14 4:40pm

The Mysterious Disease That Prevents Girls From Growing Older

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A handful of girls diagnosed as having 'Syndrome X' seem to defy one of the biggest certainties in life: aging. Scientists who are working to understand this rare condition say it could inform our efforts to radically extend the human lifespan. » 5/20/14 5:09pm 5/20/14 5:09pm

'Looking Your Age' Has Lost All Meaning

Our lives are reflected on our faces, so the saying goes, but some of us, by healthful living or good genetic luck, seem to dodge the bullet of life-face impact. In other words, we don't look our age. But what does that really mean? What does any one age look like? And when you're told you look good for your age, are… » 4/22/14 12:40pm 4/22/14 12:40pm

Your Brain Starts Turning to Mush at Age 24

The other day, I read a red carpet interview with Kate Upton wherein she remarked that a character she's playing in the upcoming film The Other Woman is "young and naive, like I was once." Kate Upton is 21. » 4/15/14 6:15pm 4/15/14 6:15pm

Watch This Little Baby Age 14 Years in 4 Minutes

Nothing is quite so paradoxically intimate and alien as the aging process. We are ourselves—we know that—but which self are we? I know that when I am 75 I will still be Lindy, but even now, at 32, the "me" I see in my head is a chimera: my 16-year-old body, my 26-year-old energy, my 9-year-old confidence, the… » 4/14/14 3:30pm 4/14/14 3:30pm

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Getting Older

I'm 34. I'm fat. I'm not married. I'm childless. And for those of you whose first instinct was to go "Awww" — are you kidding me? Save your deep concern for the homeless and the terminally ill, will you? Geez. » 3/04/14 11:00am 3/04/14 11:00am

Rejoice: 'Dressing Your Age' Is Dead

A few months ago, I had a couple of hours to kill after work and found myself wandering over to the TopShop a few blocks from work and, as I sometimes tend to do, wasting time by trying on clothing weirder than anything I currently own. It's fun in a movie montage-type way, finding out whether I can pull off a boxy… » 2/07/14 11:20am 2/07/14 11:20am

Eight Haggy Things You're Doing to Look Like an Old Hag

How can we as a society tolerate you if you have the temerity to conduct your life in such a way that the appearance of your corporeal being actually corresponds with the number of years you've existed on earth? It's as if no one told you that the eight things you're doing nearly every day to feel better are… » 2/06/14 6:15pm 2/06/14 6:15pm

Women in Their 70s Say They're Having Way Hotter Sex Than You

This past October, I got the chance to meet Jane Fonda and also stand next to her and hug her and be in close proximity to her shiny, perfect hair. From the moment she walked in the room I had to suppress the urge to scream, "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO PRETTY," right in Jane Fonda's 76-year-old face—silently chastising… » 2/05/14 6:00pm 2/05/14 6:00pm

You Don't Have to Be French to Be Sexy

Pop quiz: If a woman looks old + sexy and no one is around to validate her, does she still emit a breathy whimper? No really, in order to be sexy, who has to "agree" that you're sexy? Any passing stranger? A panel of Russian judges? The answer is one person, and one person only: You. The rest is sexy magic. And you… » 2/04/14 10:20am 2/04/14 10:20am