We talked about this in my women's studies class last semester, the class decided that it was an effort for insecure men to make women more sexually non-threatening.
I think that makes sense.
I trim mine, but I'll NEVER wax. (Too scary). When my boyfriend told me he'd like it if I didn't do anything to them, I decided that I liked him even more. :)
I guess he missed the "conditioning" day in high school. #advice
@Natalie-Marie: I don't really see the connection to threatening or non-threatening. It's more like the hair on the head for an "everyone has it" value than leg hair, the removal of which which makes more sense if you're looking at exaggerated sexual dimorphism.
I'd say that two more important influences are swim-suit styles and (most importantly) the fact that oral sex is no longer as taboo as it was. In my experience, personal preferences vary a lot more than the line about how porn is influencing expectations allows for. #advice
When it comes to waxing, how many women really have the extra $50 a month to spend? Why is pubic hair removal always talked about as if waxing is the norm when most women who remove their pubes actually shave? Is it because it sounds more reasonable when the language doesn't bring to mind dragging razors across ones genitals? #advice
@AnotherJenn: i think id rather drag a razor over my own genitals than trust a complete stranger with god-only-knows what sort of training to slather hot wax over them and rip off. but, thats me... #advice
@JillJitsu: For real! The only people permitted between my legs are a) my lover and b) members of the medical profession. There is no way in hell someone with a G.E.D. and nine months of cosmetology school is messing with my junk. (Unless a future lover of mine is a beautician, I guess, falling under the first category. That would be nice-- free haircolor and blow-outs.) #advice
@JillJitsu: I would too. Still, when pubic hair removal is discussed in articles it's always "waxing," as if the norm is for all women to spend $50 a month to have a stranger rip out her pubes. Not only was the advice columnist telling that woman she MUST remove hair, she was told she must spend good money to do so. #advice
So because men have become "conditioned" by watching porn, we're supposed to behave that way. So my boyfriend is going to expect me to fuck every pizza delivery guy and cable repair man who comes to the door. Well, I guess I have to, if that's what he's been conditioned to expect! #advice
The idea of waxing my pubes sounds like some kind of hideous torture. Those are very tender parts down there! I think naked pubes on a woman are more than pornographic - they are pedophilic. After all - little girls are the ones with no hair on their pubes.
@intime: I think you're being absurd taking it to pedophile levels. Conceptually is it that different from waxing/shaving legs or armpits or anything else? It's the process of taking hair that naturally grows on your body off - for whatever reason you have. Are men who prefer women with shaved legs also pedophiles? #advice
@intime: So, is a woman who prefers a man without a beard or mustache also a pedophile? After all, little boys are the ones with no hair on their faces. #advice
Is anyone else nearly overwhelmed by an impulse to grow a giant, Chewbacca-like bush when they read an article like this one, just to be contrary? Or is it just me? #advice
@cirocco: If any aspirational Wookiees need some inspiration, please to be enjoying Peaches's "Set It Off." (The sequence around the 2:30 mark on forward. This is in no way safe for work, unless you work at the Crazy Girls revue in Vegas.)
@cirocco: I know Jezebels are supposed to hate the late Jane magazine, but I remember that it had a feature on pubic grooming and whoever was writing it was trying to figure out why it was impossible for her to grow her pubes down to her knees as a big eff-you to the whole thing. I always think about that when I read these. It cheers me up. #advice
I find it hard to believe any 28 year old male with a somewhat normal (whatever that is) amount of experience in life has never seen pubic hair. This whole thing is a sham or there is something off about this guy's story. #advice
@MyNameIsChris: The only dude who saw me naked and was "repulsed" by my neat trim and bare bikini line (as opposed to the "cleaner" full brazilian) also refused to prepare food or touch women below the breasts with his hands because it was "icky".
So these men exist, but they are extremely weird. #advice
@sumerfish: Wait, wait, wait... literally used the word "icky?" Weird. Anyway, I'm sure there's plenty of dudes that only like women totally waxed. That's not shocking... but I'd imagine they can't be that shocked when they do encounter hair on occasion. It's the surprise that catches me as odd. I mean, I've spent the vast majority of my life in Los Angeles and you certainly see some brazilians, but hardly universal. #advice
@MyNameIsChris: Who only like women totally waxed? As in, they will turn down sex with an otherwise attractive woman because of a quarter inch long triangle or landing strip? I find that hard to believe. #advice
@sumerfish: Well, Arthur Kade would. I don't know who's turning down sex based on it, but I assume somebody must be. Or if nothing else there are surely guys keeping things as a one night stand and blowing the girl off once they encounter the horror of pubic hair. I mean... well... people are weird, man. #advice
Oh please! Suzi Godson has no more idea of what women do and what men expect than anyone else. Columnists like her (and especially those in the magazine industry) fuel these expectation of women just as much as porn does. #advice
a little OT but in a way the same thing from a different view...
my bf is very very hairy and it is a big turnoff to me. i try so hard to get over it but its hard and some days I look at that bear rug next to me and just can't be turned on. any advice? #advice
@another_uncreative_name: If you're struggling to be attracted to him, I wonder why you're with him in the first place. Someone can be a wonderful person, but if they don't turn you on they may not be sexual relationship material. I get preferring a waxed chest or shaved pubes, but all over body hair is pretty difficult to change. Maybe he isn't the guy for you. #advice
@clevernamehere: I didn't like hairy men until I fell in love with my husband. He's a redhead, and is red...all over. Arms. Legs. Ears. Chest. BACK. Everywhere!
I refer to him as my furry orangutang. I love him. Just the way he is. If he waxed anything, I'd hate it. I was upset when he shaved his beard.
I can also easily find him in a crowd. He glows like a tiki torch. #advice
@tonilost: Yeah, but it's not a health hazard like not brushing your damn teeth. I just can't get over that comparison. If you bathe every day, your pubes won't stink that much. If they do, it's not because of the hair. And vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas anyway. #advice
The last I heard, having or not having hair near one's vulva doesn't affect a person's overall health or ability to get proper sustenance. The comparison is ludicrous. #advice
Men who are freaked out by pubic hair just aren't ready to spend time with real-life women... which is why real-life women should avoid them. That deal-breaker needs to go back to his Japanese anime porn until he can learn to accept grown-up sex. #advice
Each woman has her own preference and that's fine. For me, waxing and shaving lead to itching and blotchy red welts. It's unattractive and uncomfortable.
So I leave it be, and you know what?
I've never had a guy have a problem with it. Most are just happy to be invited to the party.
(BTW. I'm 25 and have dated men from the age of 22 to 45.)
@jen.gerson: The only time a guy has preferred I shave completely, it was a particularly immature undergrad that also thought mentioning periods was gross and thongs were de rigour.
The rest? Just very grateful to be invited for the party. #advice
11/01/09
I think that makes sense.
I trim mine, but I'll NEVER wax. (Too scary). When my boyfriend told me he'd like it if I didn't do anything to them, I decided that I liked him even more. :)
I guess he missed the "conditioning" day in high school. #advice
11/01/09
I'd say that two more important influences are swim-suit styles and (most importantly) the fact that oral sex is no longer as taboo as it was. In my experience, personal preferences vary a lot more than the line about how porn is influencing expectations allows for. #advice
11/02/09
I think "threatening" is taking it too far, but porn is the biggest influence. #advice
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That's what these men want - a little girl.
Yuk! #advice
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It's decent now, but it just doesn't seem to be progressing as fast and Chewbacca-like as I want it . . . #advice
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[www.videosift.com] #advice
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So these men exist, but they are extremely weird. #advice
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my bf is very very hairy and it is a big turnoff to me. i try so hard to get over it but its hard and some days I look at that bear rug next to me and just can't be turned on. any advice? #advice
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I refer to him as my furry orangutang. I love him. Just the way he is. If he waxed anything, I'd hate it. I was upset when he shaved his beard.
I can also easily find him in a crowd. He glows like a tiki torch. #advice
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The last I heard, having or not having hair near one's vulva doesn't affect a person's overall health or ability to get proper sustenance. The comparison is ludicrous. #advice
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Although I do seem to recall seeing an article that stated that Real Dolls could be made with pubic hair if the purchaser so desired.
And one final note...the picture with this post is scaring me. #advice
11/01/09
So I leave it be, and you know what?
I've never had a guy have a problem with it. Most are just happy to be invited to the party.
(BTW. I'm 25 and have dated men from the age of 22 to 45.)
11/01/09
The rest? Just very grateful to be invited for the party. #advice