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pot psychology
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self-help
25 Things All Women Should Learn To Do Already
In honor of its 75th anniversary the May Esquire has a big pullout feature called "75 Skills Every Man Should Master." The premise — Magazines! Lists! — is not exactly revolutionary, and the "skills," such as practicing "brand loyalty to at least one product" and "making three different bets at a craps table" are not exactly universally vital, but I'm writing about the feature precisely because it's so classically Esquire. Esquire is a magazine about "how to be a better man" or some John Wayne shit like that. Esquire doesn't try and tell its readers they are fine just the way they are. Esquire likes rules, definites, moral "absolutes" to substitute for the old moral absolutes in which modern society is so woefully deficient. Glamour would, for whatever reason, never tell its readers they needed to know how to deliver a eulogy or install a thermostat without asking for help, because they are too busy telling their readers to not feel guilty about being too emotional to deliver the eulogy without breaking down, or ask a dude for help installing the thermostat. Thank the nonexistent moral authorities that I don't get paid Glamour rates to write this stuff, right? More »
pot psychology
"My Roommate Is Bulimic. What Should I Do?"
In this very special 420 episode of Pot Psychology, Rich and I are joined by a magical guest: Jambi the genie! (A virtuoso portrayal by StreetCarnage.com's Gavin McInnes.) He gave us aid(s) in tackling life's everyday issues, including dildo chew toys for dogs, Mormon weddings and large black cocks. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)
Pot Psychology
There won't be a Pot Psychology today, because we have a very special episode in the works (with a surprise guest!) that will be posted here on Sunday, April 20, at, naturally, 4:20 pm, EST. See you then.
pot psychology
"Will Squirting Too Much Make Me Incontinent?"
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, the wind beneath my wings, Rich, helps me dole out advice on stuff like eating food out of vaginas, testicle-shaving, and prom dates. (And this time, someone sent us dick pics!!!) Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)
Savage Hate
All week, readers have been writing in about advice-giver Dan Savage's latest column, in which Jezebel — specifically our response to that awful 'Dear Abby' feature from last week — gets a negative mention. Personally, I didn't care one way or another about Savage's slam, but Moe sure did! With every email from a reader that came in, she shot off a response to the entire staff. Click on Savage's picture to read her increasingly-irate responses!
how not to look stoopid
Can You Do Something Sorta Well? Write A Book & Call Yourself An Expert!
Today's Wall Street Journal has a column titled "How To Walk Like A Model." Writer Vanessa O'Connell interviews Jessica Stam, "one of fashion's most-sought models." Ms. Stam is also known as the model who tripped and fell on the runway at the Chloé Fall 2006 show in Paris. Wow. How did she deal? "I fell and got back up," she says. "I kept walking." Gasp! Absolutely ground-breaking. Earth-shattering, even. She got back up. We never would have thought of that. Thank God for Jessica Stam, and for the Wall Street Journal, for reporting such life-changing information. And for being an expert. On walking. But Stam isn't the only one who wants to tell us what to do: The style advice book industry is booming, according to another column in the Journal. Charla Krupp's How Not To Look Old is the top-selling fashion and beauty book on Amazon right now. Paige Adams-Geller of Paige Premium Denim has just written a book called Your Perfect Fit. In stylist Sherrie Mathieson's book, Forever Cool, makeovers of real people show "how to achieve ageless, youthful and modern personal style." And there's more. More »
dear stabby
"Dear Abby" Strongly Doubts Your Wife's Rape Story
Dear Abby ('s daughter): I've never written you before, but I'm writing you now to ask for your resignation. It's with regards to some advice you recently gave a reader who found himself in an odd predicament. While he was staying at his parents' house, one of his brothers raped his wife. In the darkness, the wife thought it was him. He doesn't know which brother it was. And none of the brothers will rat out the offending brother. It's an insane situation, for sure. You were right to be a little weirded out by it. But when you decided to forego any sort of censure of the offending brothers and get straight to your real suspicion about what happened: that the wife is a lying slut who needs an AIDS test and a strict talking-to. "Please do not accept as gospel that your wife didn't have an inkling that it wasn't you," you wrote. "It's time to have a serious chat with your wife and get chapter and verse on what happened that night." Abby, dear, I understand the skepticism. You're a woman. Women are more suspicious of other women, and the story sounds sketchy. More »
pot psychology
"Is It True That You Should Sleep Without Panties On To Air Out?"
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (As always: Don't do drugs!) It was my pleasure to get baked with my brother of another mother, Rich, and attempt to tackle issues like "accidental virginity", personal hygiene, and telling your ex you have syphilis. (Note that I said "attempt.") Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)
clips
Matchmaker Patti Stanger Gives Surprisingly Good Advice On Tyra
We've given a lot of grief to Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger for being abrasive, judgmental, and generally just gross for prioritizing looks and money when setting up couples on her reality show. But she was on Tyra yesterday and managed to dole out some practical advice on dating to single women who've been unlucky in love. When she's not being ridiculously shallow, she can actually be sage! Clip above.
Earlier: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Shallow Millionaire Matchmaker
ask a flawed specimen of humanity
"Three Words: MySpace Suicide Club. I Hear They're Hot Right Now."
E. Jean Carroll is perhaps the most fascinating advice columnist of all time. Every month her sunnily reactionary column appears in ELLE with a totally different, professionally styled accompanying photo of herself. And yet her website is entirely illustrated by...illustrations. She lives in a mountain cabin in Upstate New York — and yet, appears to wear Christian Louboutin stilettos around the house and own a limitless supply of very expensive clothing. But weirdest of all, she is always in a good mood! And her readers are such loathsome people. After the jump I do that thing I do where I re-answer advice columns with the March E. Jean. You will learn so much! More »
Start Snitchin'
In Dr. Joyce Brothers' advice column today, someone known only as "B.T." writes: "I graduated from college midyear, and... I've been scrambling for a job. When I got a job offer at a small entertainment industry tabloid, I [thought] I'd be pretty happy. But it turns out that they just make up half the stories, and I really am not comfortable doing this. I thought I could do it if all the other employees did it, but I find myself lying awake at night. What do you think — should I quit?" OMG! Unhappy camper! We scoured the mastheads of In Touch, Us, Life & Style, OK! and Star, and we can't find a B.T. (Well, Bobbie Thomas works for In Touch, but she is not a recent graduate, and Thomas is not her real last name.) Does anyone reading this work at a "small tabloid" and want to out their miserable coworker? We don't want to get anyone in trouble; we just want to know which tab is making up half their stories. (Uh, all of them?) If anybody wants to (anonymously!) start snitchin', drop us a line at tips@jezebel.com. [Seattle P-I]
In Dr. Joyce Brothers' advice column today, someone known only as "B.T." writes: "I graduated from college midyear, and... I've been scrambling for a job. When I got a job offer at a small entertainment industry tabloid, I [thought] I'd be pretty happy. But it turns out that they just make up half the stories, and I really am not comfortable doing this. I thought I could do it if all the other employees did it, but I find myself lying awake at night. What do you think — should I quit?" OMG! Unhappy camper! We scoured the mastheads of In Touch, Us, Life & Style, OK! and Star, and we can't find a B.T. (Well, Bobbie Thomas works for In Touch, but she is not a recent graduate, and Thomas is not her real last name.) Does anyone reading this work at a "small tabloid" and want to out their miserable coworker? We don't want to get anyone in trouble; we just want to know which tab is making up half their stories. (Uh, all of them?) If anybody wants to (anonymously!) start snitchin', drop us a line at tips@jezebel.com. [Seattle P-I]
ask a flawed specimen of humanity
My Cosmo Advice: Why "Ask Him" When You Can Ask Me?
Cosmo has a (seemingly new) advice column on its website called "Ask Him Anything", and though it may come as a shock to some, we kind of expected better from the ingenious magazine that brought us the cover line "Dirty Sexy Sex". But that's okay, because we were feeling service-y today and decided to re-answer some questions ourselves, starting with Should I Say Something About My Fears?:The guy I'm seeing is incredibly well-endowed. I'm really nervous about sleeping with him; I'm afraid it will hurt. Should I say something about my fears?More »
great sexpectations
5 Things Every Female Virgin Should Know (And No One Will Tell Her)
The other day we were informed about a young man who didn't lose his virginity until he was in his 20s and created a website on which he writes really obvious — but also valuable — relationship and sex advice for guys who are inexperienced with women. I even learned something from his post about basic stuff no one ever told him about sex! ("If the girl gets too wet during sex it can reduce the friction to the point where you don't really feel anything." I had no idea!) Anyway, inspired by his work, I decided to write a primer for female virgins. Because although women usually learn the basics through friends (or magazines like Cosmo), there are still aspects of sex that we're forced to learn the hard way. After the jump, the five things about sex most other women are too prudish or ashamed to share. More »
petty larceny
"Edgy" New New York Press Sex Columnist Stole Incest Question From Dan Savage
Yesterday a brand-new sex advice column debuted in the New York Press, and an editor at the paper sent me a pitch, wondering if I would link to it. And because it not only featured answers to questions about the sanitary properties of urine and whether it's "gay" to fuck a tranny, but "I came home to find my live-in girlfriend GIVING HER BROTHER A GIANT BONER", I wrote a post wondering just how Claudia Lonow, a former child star best known for her work in Knots Landing, went about the process of finding such shocking, edgy questions without, you know, having an established stream of pervs like Dan Savage. Well, it turned out she just stole them from Dan Savage. After the jump, the evidence — and my rant about what this means. More »
pot psychology
"How Many Times Is Too Many To Take Plan B In A Month?"
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Did we mention? Don't do drugs!) Gawker Media videographer Alex Goldberg filmed my answers this time, so I wouldn't have to deal with typing. Talking actually seemed just as difficult, 'cause my friend Rich — who was side-kickin' it — and I had the giggles something awful. And if you're wondering, the dude in the background was holding a fire extinguisher, just in case my Christmas tree — which is still in my living room — caught on fire from being dead and dry. (I was super paranoid about it.) Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. More »
pot psychology
"We Started Having Sex, But He Stopped Halfway Through. What Do I Do?"
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved by inhaling copious amounts marijuana. (Did we mention? Don't do drugs!) Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com
with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line.
Dear Slut Machine, What do you do when you realize the person you've been sleeping with is a douche bag misogynist? Not quite at the level of Paul Janka, but still a douche. I've "dumped" him and cut him off, but what else can I do?
More »
ask a prisoner of the human condition
"Do You Have Any Idea How Fucked You'd Be If Your Little Eurasian Kid Knew How Fucking Gorgeous She Is?"
We don't often give parenting advice, but when a horrified reader sent us this image of the new "America's Next Top Model" Barbie — essentially Barbie as told to Erin Fetherston and a few weeks of Master Cleanse — we thought we should weigh in on the concerns of a reader of the Washington Post's "Family Almanac" advice column, the anxious mother of a Eurasian child with dreams of a past life in the Aryan Nation.Q. My 6-year-old daughter is thriving in school, highly artistic and has lots of friends, as well as a strange idea. She stubbornly believes that blue-eyed blondes are the most beautiful people in the world.More »
