An Honest Guide to Dealing With Dicks at Work

Have you ever dealt with a guy who was a real schlong at the widget factory? Maybe he just was an incorrigible asshole to be around, or he outright stole your ideas, or he was a shitty boss who yelled a lot and insulted everyone. Most advice will tell you how to cater to them or dodge their missiles. I will do no such… » 12/17/14 1:45pm Wednesday 1:45pm

How to Put Up With Your Bitchy Pregnant Baby Mama

So, your lady is pregnant, and suddenly you feel like you're in a relationship with Mussolini — or at least an unpredictable, shouty, farty, weepy, complainy hosebeast dictator. Regardless of exactly what circle of hell you're sure she has respawned from, there is an outrageously simple solution to dealing with it. » 12/14/14 5:10pm 12/14/14 5:10pm

A Tactical Guide to Avoiding Someone on Facebook

Facebook has circulated a new video instructing users on how to block (and quickly unblock) an ex. This is a great start, but it's simply not enough, because everyone knows that when it comes to putting distance between you and that mouthbreather you once called your lover, there is nothing but breathy shades of gray. » 12/12/14 8:10pm 12/12/14 8:10pm

My Neck, My Gash: Men Don't Know What to Call Your Vagina. Let's Help.

There comes a time between a person and another person with a vagina when that vagina is going to need to be addressed. Out loud. Not in the clinical sense, but in the romantic or sexual sense. It seems some guys aren't sure how to proceed, at least according to one of their spokesmagazines. So let's help them out. » 12/09/14 4:10pm 12/09/14 4:10pm

The Right Way to Bum a Smoke Off a Stranger

Smokers: Gird your stash. Cigarette bumming by complete strangers is reportedly at an all-time high, plus it achieves peak frequency during the holidays with increased imbibing at parties and get-togethers. A note to bummers: Just because you're a terrible, fraudulent mooch doesn't mean you can't also show a little… » 12/08/14 12:10pm 12/08/14 12:10pm

A Guide to the Terrible, Delicate Art of Making Parent Friends

You'd think it would be a cakewalk to make friends with other parents. After all, you're both parents! With children! Presumably at the same daycare or preschool! But no, you would not believe how difficult it is to find other people who both feel the same way you do about Cry it Out and also like the Pixies. » 12/02/14 4:45pm 12/02/14 4:45pm

Tiny Children Give Hilarious Tips for Preparing Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is over for another year, but there's less than 364 days until the next one, so you may want to start thinking about how you're going to make next year's even better. Luckily, these kids have some great ideas. Step 1: Ask the turkey's mommy for a turkey. Step 2: Eat an apple. » 12/01/14 10:30pm 12/01/14 10:30pm

Lessons on Love and Marriage From Charles Manson and His Fiancée

It turns out that serial killers and the women who love them are just like us. They deal with the same struggles and questions that many of us do: What to do when the bride's mother has an issue with the groom? How to be connected while maintaining boundaries? When and where to register? » 11/20/14 3:40pm 11/20/14 3:40pm

Does Dry Shampoo Cause Hair Loss or What?

There are "big questions," like why are we here, and then there are Big Questions, like does dry shampoo make your hair fall out? The former is certainly important, but not if your hair has to be flat and lifeless while pondering it. After seeing this ghastly dry shampoo claim online recently, I decided to investigate. » 11/17/14 3:20pm 11/17/14 3:20pm

Newsflash: You Can't Steal Someone Else's Partner

One day hanging out on the grassy knoll freshman year at college, a free-spirited woman on roller skates approached my boyfriend, who was sitting right beside me. She handed him a note and then floated away mysteriously, her sundress rippling in the breeze behind her. It read: Will you go out with me? Yes or No. I… » 11/08/14 2:47pm 11/08/14 2:47pm