People born after Full House went off the air can now drive an automobile. Cut it out! (And also: we will be weeping in the next room.)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, which premiered at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, is about Michael Cera battling his lady's evil exes. But while there was some dubious fashion on display, nothing was as alarming as our hero's lower half:

The Cinema Society Screening of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse at Crosby Street Hotel took place on a muggy, gross night. And just looking at the stars' weird fashion choices made us feel hot. Not in the sexy way.

• Lindsay Lohan attempted to DJ at a party in London last night with respected DJ Gareth Geno. One partygoer said, "She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess... It was really embarrassing to watch."

[New York, March 3. Image via Getty]

For the first time, a visually-impaired child will portray Helen Keller in a Broadway production of The Miracle Worker. (Well, if Abigail Breslin is sick.)

An advocacy group is protesting the casting of Abigail Breslin as Helen Keller in a Broadway's upcoming revival of The Miracle Worker, arguing that a deaf or blind actress should have gotten the chance to play the part.

• In an interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Hailey Glassman says her boyfriend Jon Gosselin will "take his anger out on me... He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused."

The 2009 Teen Choice Awards, held at Universal City's Gibson Amphitheatre, was the place to be last night. Let's just put it this way: everyone was there. And most of them looked deliciously awful.

• Katherine Jackson, Michael Jackson's mother, has filed a petition in court seeking legal guardianship of Jackson's three children, but the Jackson family thinks Debbie Rowe may try to get custody of her two children.