This is Aaron Carter, the experimental prog-rock auteur behind "Aaron's Party (Come Get It)" and "That's How I Beat Shaq," publicly broadcasting to the world of social media that he is watching old episodes of Lizzie McGuire, Disney's 2001-2002 French New Wave-inspired dramatic miniseries starring Carter's ex, Hilary…

In today's Tweet Beat, who knows who Ione Sky is, Aaron Carter's notorious sense of humor has prompted him to join Vine and JoJo should release an updated version of "Too Little Too Late."

Today in 14-year-old F-list celebrity gossip updates, Aaron Carter is still pining for his long-lost love Hilary Duff. In fact, he says he's a "douche" for losing her and will spend the rest of his life trying to win her back. In conclusion, he adds, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO AARON CARTER OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE OH GOD…

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, STOP CORRECTING UNCLE JESSE, Aaron Carter is sincerely sorry that you did not receive him for Christmas, and Ice T shares a quick and simple holiday recipe.

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, Aaron Carter is creating some lil' koans of his own on the path to spiritual enlightenment, Justin Bieber reaches out to Mike Tyson (what a wonderful partnership that would be!), and Cher very coherently recounts a few anecdotes from her youth.

Okay, you guys, SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET. It's over. It's run its course. The best thing that's ever going to happen has now happened, so we might as well just go make some s'mores and take a nap (s'more-nap!) and breathe the new summer air and hug all the relatives we haven't seen since 1995 (The Day the AOL Discs…

Dooooooooood, Leonardo. I get that charity is awesome and everything, but are you aware of what you just signed up for? You know when you're stuck on a two-hour plane flight next to, like, an evangelical baby with diarrhea who sells P90X subscriptions (child prodigy) and it is literally the worst thing ever? NOW…

In today's Tweet Beat, perpetual tween Aaron Carter sounds like a demanding toddler, NeNe Leakes talks obesity or fame (we can't really tell), and ladies love when Ladies Love Cool J tells them he loves them back.

Aaron Carter, brother to Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and former object of both Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan's affections (there was a feud, remember), is poised for a comeback. Well, not a comeback precisely, no, because, you see, Aaron Carter, according to Aaron Carter, never really went away.

In this edition of Tweet Beat, someone should probably check in on Aaron Carter, Jonah Hill and Rick Ross are making plans, Lady Gaga shares her favorite Michael Jackson moment — Surprise! It has Brett Ratner in it — and Pink is in need of a bum bag.

Maria Shriver has filed for divorce from husband Arnold Schwarzenegger, citing "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for ending their 25-year marriage.