CAT DIALS 911 Is the Ultimate Summer News Story

Forget a slow news day—summer is the slow news season. Politicians, celebs and bigwigs aren't doing anything but chilling at their second and third homes. Coverage thins to two categories: sudden catastrophes (plane crash, plane crash, plane crash) and "hell, just go with it." Here is the ultimate example of the… » 7/24/14 1:00pm Thursday 1:00pm

Quote on the 9/11 Memorial Is 'Shockingly Inappropriate,' Says Scholar

Whoops! Looks like someone should have consulted their local classicist before picking the quote for the 9/11 memorial. The text, taken from Virgil's Aeneid, is rendered in 15-inch letters (made of steel salvaged from the wreckage) that stretch for 60 feet across a wall of the National September 11 Memorial Museum,… » 4/08/14 7:45pm 4/08/14 7:45pm

​Sikh Kids Get Bullied More Than Twice as Much than National Rate

A recent survey by the Sikh Coalition has found that half of Sikh children and two-thirds of Sikh children who wear their hair in turbans report being bullied at school. The report entitled, "Go Home Terrorist," surveyed more than 700 students in California, Indiana, Massachusetts, and Washington and was included in… » 3/16/14 3:30pm 3/16/14 3:30pm

The Worst 9/11 Commemorative Crap Your Money Can Buy

It seems slightly unfair to all the tacky, patriotic stuff across the United States to draw attention this one national tragedy and our collective desire to "remember" it through obesssive consumer culture. But there's just something about 9/11 that has prompted budding entrepreneurs everywhere to put on their… » 9/11/13 12:00pm 9/11/13 12:00pm

Thieves Steal Wedding Dress, 911 Operator Saves the Day by Loaning Hers

Something nice happened! Something really actually nice happened! A woman in Kent, WA (King County! Woooooo!) discovered that her wedding dress was stolen out of the trunk of her car on her wedding day. (King County. Boooooooooo.) In tears, she called 911, and the emergency faeries connected her with precisely the… » 8/19/13 2:45pm 8/19/13 2:45pm

Hillary Clinton Masterminding the Bin Laden Raid Is a Fun Idea But…

A new book written by a guy who almost definitely doesn't want Barack Obama to be reelected claims that while Barack Obama nancy-danced around issuing final orders to carry out the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, in the end, it was Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who led the charge to kill the terrorist… » 8/22/12 11:00am 8/22/12 11:00am

Mitt Romney Laughs Uncomfortably as Woman Interrupts Press Conference…

Here's some video of GOP Presidential nominee Mitt Romney being interrupted during a joint press conference with Rudy "9/11 Is Not Political Unless It Benefits Me" Giuliani by a woman who shouted "MITT ROMNEY IS A RACIST!" over and over for several seconds while Mittens laughs through gritted teeth. I feel like… » 5/01/12 4:20pm 5/01/12 4:20pm

Amazing Dog Saves His Own Life by Calling 911

You might as well start shrieking now, that's how insanely heart-exploding this story is. George, a two-year-old very adorable Basset Hound, was home alone in England and somehow got himself tangled up in a phone cord and started choking. He then did something amazing: he managed to dial 999 (the British equivalent of… » 3/28/12 10:30am 3/28/12 10:30am

Demi Moore's 911 Call Reveals Her Daughter Was There When She Collapsed


The much-anticipated Demi Moore 911 call has been released, and it contains a few pretty depressing revelations. The almost nine-minute-long recording captures a very chaotic scene at Demi's house. It appears there were multiple people there with her that night, one of whom was likely her 23-year-old daughter Rumer… » 1/27/12 8:00pm 1/27/12 8:00pm

Adorable Little Girl Saves Mother's Life Via Pizza Slap to Face

Seven-year-old Floridian Rita Lawlor was given an award by the Sarasota County Fire Department for her bravery and composure in the face of what would be a terrifying situation for anyone— her mother wouldn't wake up, even when slapped across the face with a piece of pizza. Master Shredder would be so pleased. » 1/26/12 2:20pm 1/26/12 2:20pm

School Pulls Musical About Muslims Due To 9/11 Fearmongering

The Richland School District in Pennsylvania was planning to stage the musical Kismet in February, but switched to Oklahoma! after parents complained about performing a show about a Muslim poet so close to the anniversary of 9/11. Administrators admit there's no objectionable content in the Tony Award-winning musical,… » 9/21/11 10:40am 9/21/11 10:40am

Couple Tries To Join The Mile High Club, Causes National Security Scare

The tenth anniversary of 9/11 was an unwise day for an in-flight romantic adventure, as a couple learned yesterday. After their frequent trips to the bathroom raised suspicions on a Frontier Airlines flight, the FBI was called to investigate suspicious behavior and two fighter jets took to the skies to monitor the… » 9/12/11 10:50am 9/12/11 10:50am