Former Miss Universe, Called 'Ms. Housekeeping' By Trump, Comes Out to Fight the 'Great Monster' 

Donald Trump—a hunk of beef jerky that rolls under the couch and is left there to harden, becoming covered in dust and cat hair until a cockroach takes it back to its lair and makes it his wife—is known for his obsession with women in bathing suits walking around without speaking. Such a specific obsession ultimately…

A True Conversation I Had With My Very Woke Baby After Hillary Clinton's Historic Win

Last night, my two-year-old son and I watched Hillary Clinton deliver her historic victory speech on CNN, me sucking down a double bottle of Pinot Grigio through two straws I jammed together; my gifted child guzzling milk from both of my desiccated breasts. (How can I tell him no? He’s a growing boy, thirsty for…

Listen to a Clip of Hillary Clinton's Astoundingly Prescient 1969 Commencement Speech

In 2016, Hillary Clinton has secured enough delegates to become the first woman nominee of a major political party. In 1969, Clinton-then-Rodham was the first student to ever give a commencement speech at Wellesley’s graduation. Now, the women’s college has begun posting audio clips of the speech in what is likely…

Hillary Clinton Calls Trump 'Dangerously Incoherent’ in Rousing Foreign Policy Speech

In what might have been her strongest speech of the campaign, Hillary Clinton made a compelling case against presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump on Thursday afternoon. “I believe that the person the Republicans have nominated for President cannot do the job,” Clinton said in the foreign policy-focused speech.…

Cable News Chose to Air Footage of Trump's Empty Podium Instead of Clinton's Union Speech

This election season, the media has found itself wrapped up in a perpetual cycle of self-loathing and self-adulation. We are, by our own estimation, both acutely to blame for the rise of abandoned roadside ham hock Donald Trump, and unimpeachable public servants, guilty only of doing our job.

State Department Says Hillary Clinton's Email Server Violated Agency Rules 

In a report released on Wednesday, the State Department inspector general said that Hillary Clinton violated the agency’s rules with her private email server. The report also said that Clinton was not cooperative with the investigation and declined to be interviewed by the auditor. Clinton aides Huma Abedin, Jake…


Donald Trump’s Latest Hillary Attack Ad Is Fucking Gross

On Monday, swollen earthworm gizzard Donald Trump posted a short Instagram video in which interviews with women who allege that former President Bill Clinton assaulted them are spliced together with Hillary Clinton’s laughter, coupled with a question: Is Hillary really protecting women? The ad is exploitive, foul,…

Sanders Campaign Accuses 'Dysfunctional' Nevada Democratic Party of Acting Undemocratically

Over the weekend, the Nevada Democratic Party convention turned into a bit of a sideshow. According to multiple reports, Bernie Sanders supporters—angry over a convention that they argued was rigged against them—threw chairs, rushed the stage, and sent threats to chairwoman Roberta Lange. The convention was eventually

Washington Post: Hillary Clinton Needs to Start Thinking About Men's Feelings

We have seen our fair share of bad takes this election cycle—we’ve seen the personal essay (ie. “Why the Feminist Vote Is a Vote for Jeb”), the unexpected turn (ie. “You Might Think Hillary Is a Woman—Here’s Why She Isn’t”), the outrage-bait garbage (ie. “A Liberal Case for Donald Trump”) (that one’s real).