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LOL: Duggar Family Favorite Rick Santorum Is Running for President Again

After months of increasingly threatening-sounding emails to people who drunkenly signed up for his mailing list at CPAC, Rick Santorum is announcing today that he’s officially, really, for real, definitely going to waste a shitload of time and money going after a Republican Presidential nomination that he will fail to… » 5/27/15 2:10pm 5/27/15 2:10pm

Gov. Chris Christie Delivers Speech With Lots of F-Words

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie invoked the spirit of Andrew “Dice” Clay when he delivered a speech brimming with expletives at the New Jersey Legislative Correspondents Club Show on Wednesday evening. The event is an annual fundraising tradition put on by the New Jersey press corps and Christie’s profanity-filled… » 5/22/15 11:10am 5/22/15 11:10am

Hillary Clinton Vows to Address Problems She & Her Husband Helped Cause

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton hopped aboard the anti-police state wave, announcing in a speech at Columbia University that police brutality and over-incarceration were cultural malignancies that Had To Stop. The move, politically expedient given ongoing unrest in several cities over recent high-profile cases of deadly… » 4/30/15 3:10pm 4/30/15 3:10pm

50 Things Cooler Than Mitt Romney Running for President [Update]

According to The Daily Beast, Mitt 'Mittsdemeanor' Romney, Esquire, former Governor of Massachusetts and since perpetual Presidential also-ran, is announcing today that he's running for President in 2016. I guess when you're a millionaire with a car elevator, you can treat running for President the way urban… » 1/30/15 10:50am 1/30/15 10:50am

'Nobody' Is Trying to Ban Birth Control, Says Guy Who Tried to Ban It

Today, probable 2016 Republican Presidential hopeful Rand Paul told a crowd in Iowa that "Nobody here" was trying to ban birth control. Either Rand Paul has a terrible memory, or he has such low self esteem that he considers himself "nobody," because just last year, Rand Paul cosponsored a bill that would have banned… » 8/06/14 2:30pm 8/06/14 2:30pm

We're Already Talking About Hillary Clinton's 'Presidential Diet'

If Hillary Clinton were to run for President in 2016, she'd have a lot of ducks to get in a row — fundraising, amassing an army of volunteers, getting key endorsements, building a killer staff to fuel her unstoppably Hillary Machine. Dozens of extra-shiny flag lapel pins, I'd imagine. Here's something that would… » 8/08/13 10:50am 8/08/13 10:50am