Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. » 10/22/14 12:50pm Today 12:50pm

America Has Some Critical Questions About the Return of SURGE

Thanks to the endless wheedling of the Internet, SURGE, the disgusting beverage that fueled my high-school debate team's dumbest, most ridiculous antics, has been resurrected for sale exclusively on Amazon. And now a bunch of people are amusing themselves by posting absurd questions and even more ludicrous answers on… » 10/20/14 3:20pm Monday 3:20pm

Here Are the Real and Ridiculous Reviews for Vaginal Shrinking Cream

If there's one thing that hasn't yet been advertised on late-night television, it's a cream that will shrink your vagina into a tiny nothing that not even an ant could get through. A cream that works miracles to turn even the biggest sleeve of wizard into an impenetrable fortress of solitude. Now that's changed. » 10/09/14 7:00pm 10/09/14 7:00pm

Amazon Removes Guide to Date Rape After Outcry

After backlash on the Internet, Amazon has removed an eBook entitled LMR Exposed: How To Overcome Her Last Minute Resistance To Sex, Turn 'No' Into 'Yes' And Get The Lay! Everything that's wrong with the book is summed up in its title: it's a guide that outlines how to coerce a resistant woman into having sex with you. » 1/31/14 1:20pm 1/31/14 1:20pm

Amazon is making it harder to sell Bigfoot porn ebooks

Erotica featuring Sasquatch, minotaurs, aliens, and boar gods may not fit everyone's tastes, but some authors have made a killing selling monster sex ebooks. But some ebook retailers, notably Amazon, have been cracking down on cryptozoological smut, making it harder for writers to sell their books to readers who are… » 12/22/13 2:26pm 12/22/13 2:26pm

There's More Where This Disgusting, Hilarious Kleenex Review Came From

Anyone who's ever lived under the same roof with a teenaged boy is familiar with some of the more...awkward facets of that experience. Puberty's hard on everyone, even the bystanders. Which is perhaps why this Amazon review of Kleenex tissues—titled "a mother's struggle"—is currently going viral on Twitter. » 12/20/13 4:30pm 12/20/13 4:30pm

Farrah Abraham's Fans Are Furnishing Her Home Through Amazon Wish List

Last week, Farrah Abraham tweeted a link to her Amazon wish list, asking fans to purchase her more than $13,000 worth of gifts—and they did. Now the reality star/"sex tape" star has replenished her list, asking for some more furniture, kitchen appliances, and odds and ends for her home. Let's review the list. » 8/28/13 5:50pm 8/28/13 5:50pm

55-Gallon Drum of Lube Makes a Terrible Dog Swimming Pool, Says Amazon…

Do you ever look around your sex dungeon, see the desiccated fuck-doll crocheted out of all the pubic hair you've collected from public restrooms over the years, and think, "You know, I could really use a 55-gallon drum of water-based personal lubricant"? If this is the sort of dilemma you regularly find yourself… » 3/15/13 6:40pm 3/15/13 6:40pm

'Keep Calm and Rape' T-Shirts Pulled From Amazon UK, But Why The Fuck…

T-shirts being sold on Amazon UK from a company called Solid Gold Bomb, which includes 638 oh-so-witty riffs on the "Keep Calm" slogan such as "Keep Calm and Knife" and "Keep Calm and Kill," have been pulled from the site after they were barraged with negative product reviews and critical Tweets for their selection of… » 3/02/13 1:00pm 3/02/13 1:00pm

The Woman Who Played Veruca Salt Wrote a Book About Playing Veruca…

This week in Mark Frauenfelder Finds the Best Shit, he's tracked down a memoir written by Julie Dawn Cole, the actress who played the Girl Who Had it All But Never Even Knew It, Veruca Salt, in the good original Willy Wonka. » 1/10/13 3:05pm 1/10/13 3:05pm

, and it has great reviews on Amazon. Best of all, if you have a Kindle (or a way to…

Sorry, but Amazon Probably Won’t Let Nana Review Your E-Novel Anymore

The licentious world of Amazon literary criticism may soon be much more tightly regulated, at least as far as nepotism is concerned. The New York Times reports that Amazon's criticism sentries are cracking down on the glowing book reviews obviously dashed off by an author's family member, friend, or sycophantic pet… » 12/24/12 6:45pm 12/24/12 6:45pm