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If you haven’t already bleached the Witness World Wide livestream out of your brain, you might remember the moment a particularly frazzled Katy Perry told James Corden that John Mayer was the most satisfying of her highest-profile lovers. This was shocking news because we all (or at least I) sort of expected Orlando Bloom to take the cake, so to speak. But nope! It was Mayer all along.

But he doesn’t really want to talk about that. After all, he’s not emotionally exhausted after locking himself in a Big Brother-inspired house for an entire weekend. When Rolling Stone asked what he thought about being Katy’s #1, all he said was:

“I don’t have a cool-enough thought for you. I’ve hacked this game. I pay very little of the price of fame now. I get to play the music that moves me the most. I’m having the time of my life. I’m 39 — I remember 32. I don’t wanna do it again.”

If I wanted to be rude I would have used that last sentence in the headline without context. Something like John Mayer on Sex With Katy Perry: I Don’t Wanna Do it Again. But I’m not rude! So I won’t.

[Us Weekly]


Here’s some good news about Kanye West. Sources are telling TMZ that the father of two who put his Saint Pablo tour on pause due to health issues is currently “better than they’ve ever seen him.” He is reportedly “focused, engaged, and has overcome the issues that landed him in the hospital last year.”

The tour could resume “as early as 2018.”

[TMZ]


And now, a video of Justin Bieber making DJ Khaled’s son Asahd—the closest thing this country has to a prince—cry:

[TMZ]


  • David Foster and Kris Jenner have been friends “for years,” but I’m still shivering at news that they held hands for dinner. [Page Six]
  • Bestselling author Kelly Clarkson is releasing another book! [Refinery29]
  • Here’s a famous masseuse on what it’s like to massage Mariah Carey: “It’s a huge production to massage her. She doesn’t want anyone touching her bedsheets. She refuses to lie on a massage table.” [Page Six]
  • Here are approximately eight billion photos of Rihanna and her new boyfriend walking out of a store. [Daily Mail]