Screenshot via Tina Knowles’ Instagram

If you, like me, live for Instagram updates from Her Ladyship Tina Knowles Lawson—Birther of Beyoncé and Solange, Benevolent Forgiver of Mathew and Shawn, Corny Joke Queen—you may have noticed she’s been working on some sort of craft project for an “upcoming event” over the past few days.

Like her eldest daughter, Miss Tina is laying low on the details but I am nosy and I need to know!!!

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Here she is hot-gluing artificial grass to a piece of plywood.

The next day her living room was covered in expensive-looking pink faux roses also being glued to some large surface. You’ll notice the finished grass wall is looking resplendent and sturdy as hell in the background.

And today, she and the group of young women she’s mentoring—her “Angels” are rifling through a large shipment of assorted shells.

So what the hell is this?

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The always wise Julianne Escobedo Shepherd posits that Miss Tina is building something for Beyoncé’s baby shower, which is probably the best and most sane guess.

I am somewhat less wise and have assembled a group of much less sane options for us to all choose from. Additional speculations are also welcome in the comments.