Ladies, your boyfriend is so lucky to have found you right? WRONG. The latest installment of Men Decide to Have An Open Forum on Reddit About Women has proved, once and for all, that he basically hates everything you do and wishes you could be replaced with a Fleshlight.
A gentleman wondered aloud on the internet one day: Boyfriends of Reddit, what are things your girlfriend does/says that piss you off? The answers were enlightening.
1. He hates it when you say the wrong thing.
"If you could change one thing about me, what would you change?"
"During the first three minutes of a movie, a new character comes on-screen. 'Who's that?'"
"'Tell me a story'. I literally can not say a word after that."
"After receiving a compliment: You're just saying that/No, I don't."
2. He hates it when you don't say anything at all.
"Not being direct with me. If you're pissed and I don't know why I'll never figure it out. For the love of god just tell me what's going on..."
"The passive aggressive bullshit when you're angry. If you're mad and I'm not getting why, just fucking tell me. I will do my best to make it better and if I'm the cause of your anger, I'll apologize and fix it."
3. When you're too passive.
"'Whatever you want to watch.' 'Wherever you want to eat.' Just make a decision for once!"
4. When you're not supportive of his talents.
"Sometimes she mocks my velociraptor impression and it makes me really sad because I'm a good velociraptor."
5. When you don't do things the right way.
"Refuses to signal before changing lanes, nor do I think she really checks the blind spot. I'm always on full alert when I drive with her and I'm constantly on her to use the turn signal."
"My wife can never ever get ready on time. It drives me nuts because she knows I get anxiety over being late."
6. When you're lazy.
"I'll sit down on the couch, put my feet up, get comfortable. She'll come in, sit down next to me, and then ask me 'Can you get my X?' where X is anything she could have gotten on the way to the couch."
"Me: 'I'm going to make a sandwich, do you want one?' Girlfriend: 'No, I'm not hungry.' Comes back with sandwich. Girlfriend: 'Can I have some?"
7. When you think you know him so well.
"I left my shoes at the end of the bed once. 'Please don't leave them there,' she asked. No problem. I haven't left them there since. Yet, when with a group of her friends, apparently I 'always' leave my shoes at the end of the bed. IT HAPPENED ONE TIME."
8. Um, that random stuff that's pretty inexcusable.
"Sometimes when we're having sex she'll start singing one of her favorite songs. Sometimes it's cute and fun... but sometimes she gets really serious and I don't know how to react. Like after her dad died all she would sing was 'My Father's Eyes' by Eric Clapton. It was mainly the chorus she would sing."
"Sticks her hair to the side of the shower and leaves it there. I understand you are trying to stop it from clogging up the drain, but god dammit clean it up when you're done!"
"All of her impersonations are done in the voice of a young filipino."
9. And then sometimes, your boyfriend hates himself because he knows he might be a jerk because people do things that annoy other people sometimes, regardless of whether they are in a relationship.
"I have typed out three different scenarios only to delete them after realizing that I'm probably just an ass."
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