Here Is the Average Dick Size. Are You Surprised?

In theory, penises roam free in all shapes and sizes. But, according to a new British study, most peen fits within a pretty small average range. Mind. Blown. Sorta.

A team of analysts canvassed men “around the world”—about 15,000, according to the Guardian—and found that most men’s penises are 5.16 inches long and 4.6 inches around. Honestly, it sounds like this information was assembled to make men feel better about having “small penis anxiety.” There’s even a graph of penis sizes that doctors can now use when counseling men about this specific ailment.

In the worst cases, men may be diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder – a debilitating psychological condition that can lead to obsessive and anti-social behaviour, depression and even suicide.

In reality, only 2.28% of the male population have an abnormally small penis, said the study – and the same percentage an unusually large one.

You wonder what these researchers would say about Billy-Tom O’Conner and his “absolute monster.”

Oh, and the researchers who published their work in the BJU International journal of urology didn’t find that penis size correlated with race (though they mostly used participants of European and Middle Eastern descent). Foot size and penis size did not correlate either, and there was no information about hands and penises. Sorry, old wives.

Never less than thorough, the study comes with a graph on the way detailing how to find better fitting condoms to compliment their average-dick graph, which, I mean, the more you know.