By the Way, Lots of Dudes Aspire to Be Dads

Yes, yes — we all know that the highest calling for women in fascist countries is to birth beautiful, stout baby-soldiers for the State, but a new, conveniently-timed Father’s Day poll suggests that lots of men want to be dads one day. In fact, just about as many men as women aspire to carefully guide an infant human into young adulthood, something you might never have realized if you either listen to pseudo evolutionary-psych arguments about why women are hardwired to chase their children around the kitchen with a greasy spatchula, or have never heard of Sweden.

A recent survey from AP and WE tv found that eight out of ten men said they’ve always wanted to be fathers, compared to just seven out of ten women who said they’ve always wanted to be mothers. Moreover, 69 percent of actualized fathers said that their desire to have kids (instead of, say, a night of sloppy lovemaking after a Journey concert) was a huge factor in the decision to have children.

So, total gender equality when it comes to planning a family, yes? Ha, fools! Did you really think you’d wriggle free from an Associated Press poll without some kind of gender normative poll question? The survey found that men and women want to become parents for totally different reasons — while men were more likely to say that they wanted to become fathers to pass on the family crest to their offspring, women “generally” place greater emphasis on caring for and nurturing a child. Just like that, we’re right back to the sinkhole-riddled playground of the disingenuous evolutionary psychologist who argues that men should be roaming the earth with their seed like traveling toaster salesmen while women sit at home, waiting to choose the best, shiniest possible toaster.