Bizarre Ad Equates a Good Mascara to a Big Dick

1. The fact that Vinny from Jersey Shore is teaching yoga?

2. The fact that Simon Rex is featured and it’s his band’s music that you hear in the background?

3. The fact that in this parallel universe to our own, men walk around with penises so large they are visible outside of their pants and that it is acceptable for them to reach into their pants in public and pull out…mascara, which they then hand out like candy to fawning females?

According to Benefit and the “creative studio” that helped make the ad, the commercial is “intended to break the mold of the traditional beauty ad” by making mascara get “in-your-face gratuitous with your fave celebrity packages (wink, wink).” Like the Zesty Guy or the Old Spice guy that came before — except this time, the connection between man meat and product is even more tenuous.