Amanda Bynes Says She Definitely Didn't Do Any of That Stuff People Saw Her Do

By Lindy West  |  October 16, 2012 | 12:45am
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Blablanda Blynes is pleading not guilty to her charge of driving with a suspended license, even though even my dead grandma knows she was totally driving with a suspended license. BLABLEGGEDLY. Talk more! Let’s talk more about this!

A pretrial hearing was scheduled for Nov. 29, but it’s likely a plea bargain is in the works, especially considering Bynes is also facing DUI and hit-and-run charges brought by the L.A. City Attorney’s Office.
She has pleaded not guilty to the DUI charge stemming from her April 6 arrest after clipping a police cruiser in her BMW and has vehemently denied via Twitter that she drinks at all, much less drinks and then gets behind the wheel.

Goo goo ga ga bleep blop zzzzzzzzz. [E!]

Squee, etc.! Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are going to host the Golden Globes! Together! Girl Talk Date Line! Is it possible that Fey and Poehler might finally be the magic ticket that turns an awards show into actual entertainment? Probably not! But I’ll watch the crap out of it anyway.

“Having both Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on board to host this year’s festivities is a major coup,” said Paul Telegdy, NBC’s President, Alternative and Late Night Programming. “Tina and Amy have a proven chemistry and comedic timing from their many years together on SNL to their successful co-starring roles in Baby Mama.”

Because I don’t have any more jokes for this, here’s a dumb anecdote: One time my boyfriend met Amy Poehler at a bar and he says she was the nicest, best person he’s ever met in his life. And then he claims Rashida Jones tried to go on a date with him. So basically, what we can extrapolate from this story is that I’m prettier than Rashida Jones (I MEAN, KIND OF, RIGHT?). Right.

Update: Apparently Laura and I wrote about this simultaneously. But w-evs. News so nice we shall POST IT TWICE. [Deadline]

I can’t tell you how happy it made me to wake up this morning to an e-mail titled, “TMZ EXCLUSIVE: Neal Schon & Michaele Salahi — ENGAGED,” because: 1) It’s not every day that I get to utilize my special talent called “knowing who Neal Schon is”; 2) It’s not every day that aging members of ’70s prog/pop groups inspire breathless headlines in my “celebrity gossip” news feed; 3) It’s not every day I can justify watching Journey videos at work, but CHECK OUT THE FIERCE AIR-SYNTH IN THE OPENING OF THAT VIDEO. Anyhoo, the noted non-Steve-Perry member of Journey is apparently marrying erstwhile “Real Housewife” Meshach Taylor, and apparently he gave her a diamond ring that’s roughly the size of a barge, which reportedly cost more than one million dollars, which is apparently how much money not-Steve-Perry makes these days!!! Amazing in every direction! Apparently! Now go watch that “Separate Ways” video 9,000 more times and we can be friends. [TMZ]

  • Yet another thing is not Joe Francis‘s fault. [TMZ]
  • Khloe Kardashian Odom has officially been named khohost of the X-Fakhtor! Khongratulations, Khloe! [E!]
  • Here’s Emily Blunt looking oddly retouched (…giraffey?) on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar Australia. [JustJared]
  • Scarlett Johansson has reportedly split up with her boyfriend Nate Naylor, who looks exactly like a cross between Michael Musto and Joe Isuzu. In a good way! In a good way. [People]
  • A judge has thrown out a lawsuit claiming that The Bachelor discriminates against black men.
  • A Tennessee judge has officially dismissed the case — citing the 1st Amendment (Freedom of Speech) … and explaining that the court cannot tell TV producers … or movie producers … or playwrights … how to cast a production.
  • In fact, the judge explains that Freedom of Speech is why “The Cosby Show” could have an all-black cast … why “Jersey Shore” can cast all-Italians … and why “Shahs of Sunset” can cast all-Persians.
  • 😐 [TMZ]
  • Sage Stallone‘s mom is trying to get control over her son’s estate, saying he “died without a will, and left personal property valued at 40 grand. [TMZ]
  • Jennifer Aniston got teary-eyed talking about her engagement. [E!]
  • Sharon Osbourne got teary-eyed talking about Jack‘s wedding: “It was picture book perfect.” [Radar]
  • Important. You’re going to be skeptical for the first 30 seconds, but trust me. [YouTube]

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