Johns Hopkins University has emerged in the past year as an unlikely lightning rod for controversy. Between "satire" on "fat chicks" and musings on emasculating women, scarcely a month has gone by without word of new journalistic hijinx. But today's a new level of achievement entirely.
This exercise in male frustration comes to us once again from the pages of the News-Letter. In a piece titled, "Getting an attitude: Hot girls at Hopkins" author Mike McKenna outlines exactly how much Hopkins' attractive women suck. And how few of them give him the time of day. Not, mind you, that the gentleman is a chauvinist.
Before we get going, it's important to note that the more attractive guys at Hopkins develop the same, if not worse, attitude as the girls. It must also be said that there are striking examples of gorgeous and down-to-earth women here too, but like everywhere they're hard to come by.
What's particularly bizarre about the piece is that this isn't — despite its unfortunate stabs at levity — "satire." This guy seems genuinely interested in getting to the bottom of the question of what's up with these girls and their attitude — which, by the way, is taken as a given. And there's a certain earnestness to the whole thing which is kind of the worst part.
Now, confidence is great; sexy, even. Don't get me wrong, I love it when people actually have personality and break the mold at Hopkins, but it's a problem when someone's personality borders on arrogance. If you're attractive there's no need for arrogance. Trust me: guys know you're hot. Everyone on M Level with a Y chromosome sees that hot girl before she even walks into the library. We have an intrinsic radar for this; it's basically a sixth sense. So drop the attitude, we all acknowledge that you're attractive, so try being warm as well.
It's like a dorky alien descended on this college campus and, genuinely befuddled as to why human women didn't respond to his overtures, undertook a study of their genus. Because, obviously, the problem must be with them. We're starting to think it's with the faculty advisors.
Getting An Attitude: Hot Girls At Hopkins [JHU News-Letter]