Ke$ha Plans To Assault Us All

  • Oh, Ke$ha. We live in uncertain and unsteady times. So perhaps we should thank you for being reliable, constant and steadfast in your unfailing dedication to atrocity. And for informing us that your upcoming tour will be an "assault."

Actually, you told Billboard: "Visually it will just be assaulting, and sonically it will be assaulting. It's just going to be an assault of all your senses, but it's going to be really, really, really fun… I want people to feel like they've come to my house party, and they can be the most raw and visceral version of themselves and not be judged. I want my show to be a place you can come and dress like a maniac and wear mental make-up, and it's totally cool." And : 'I play a lot of instruments... and I can dance and I can really, really sing, so I'm going to be doing all that and, meanwhile, covering everybody in glitter." Looking forward to avoiding the pain and trauma your assault will bring! [Digital Spy]

  • Lily Allen has launched a record label, and signed her first act, The Cults. Check out one of their videos here. Balloon arms! Feathers! Do you dig it? [Contact Music]
  • Uh oh, Halle Berry has been launching "nasty screaming fits" at her ex, Gabriel Aubry — says a person who is clearly friends with Gabriel. This source says: "Gabriel told me that he believes Halle is having him tailed by a private investigator, and trust me, he's not just some paranoid dude with a wild imagination. He said he's noticed a car following him a few times now and that he's just got this weird feeling that he can't shake of being watched. Judging by Halle's past actions and threats it wouldn't surprise me, if Gabriel doesn't follow her rules she's going to fight nasty." [Radar Online]
  • If Hilary Duff is not pregnant, we are faced to consider the fact that sometimes gossip headlines are false. Inconceivable! [NYDN]
  • "Cameron Diaz Bought Weed From Snoop Dogg In High School." [TV Squad]
  • A photo of Kim Kardashian and her rumored boyfriend Kris Humphries in bed together has been "leaked." Apparently, she is bare shouldered and smiling with her tongue hanging out and he is licking the side of her face. You know, the usual. The picture is not at the link, however. [Gatecrasher]
  • Snooki has apologized for the video in which she and JWoww mocked Joy Behar, saying: "Everyone took it too seriously, so I took the video down… We feel bad about it. I'm a big fan of 'The View' and Barbara Walters… so, you know, I'm sorry." [NYDN]
  • Will Smith wants to remake Annie with his daughter Willow as the little orphan. Do you think Daddy Warbucks will also be black? When you think about it and block out the whole nepotism and self-promotery stuff, it could be kind of cool, I guess. Of course, we will probably be subjected to an ear-bleeding and soul-crushing hip-hop remix of "Tomorrow." Sigh. Jay-Z's "Hard Knock Life" was the beginning of the end. [Digital Spy]
  • Robert Downey Jr. has dropped out of Oz, the Disney prequel to The Wizard Of Oz. The wizard may be played by, you guessed it, Johnny Depp. [Hollywood Reporter]
  • Random lady: "Are you Kanye West?" Kanye West: "No, my name is Louis." Random lady: "Damn, you should be an impersonator and work in Vegas. You should be getting paid." Yeezy: "I've been to Vegas. And, oh, I get paid." And scene. [Page Six]
  • Breaking: Elizabeth Hurley as obtained a pet parrot and named it Ping Pong. [Contact Music]
  • You've been waiting for these, haven't you? The Nadya Suleman baby-whipping fetish videos? [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Get Uncle Jesse on the phone! Stephanie Tanner: Engaged. [NYDN]
  • Judson Birza, the dude who won Survivor Nicaragua, was arrested yesterday, and from the looks of his cheerful mug shot, he was having an awesome time. [TMZ]
  • "I'm not what you call a health-food person." — hot dog enthusiast Betty White. [Page Six]
  • "George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012… Like, for real. He thinks it." — Seth Rogen. [NYDN]
  • "When Seal is on the set he refers to me as Heidi's other husband." — Tim Gunn. [Parade]