There is a predictable kind of response generated from news that a beloved movie from a generation’s childhood will soon be receiving a long-awaited sequel or reboot—a deafening argument about nostalgia that puts excitement (“FINALLY!”), anger (“YOU’RE RUINING MY CHILDHOOD!), and annoyance (“CAN’T HOLLYWOOD THINK OF ANY BETTER IDEAS??!”) in some uneasy combination.
I’m not immune to this. If, for example, you told me Now & Then would be getting a sequel starring Rita Wilson, Rosie O’Donnell, Melanie Griffith, and Demi Moore called Now & Later, I would take the day off work and run down Broadway screaming, “WE DID IT! WE DID IT!” But, after hearing Monday’s news about the upcoming sequel to the 1996 Bugs Bunny/Michael Jordan-starring Space Jam, I merely shrugged and went about my business.
Soon after pushing it out of my mind, I began noticing tweets from the movie’s overjoyed fans. People around my age (read: millennials) were reacting as though Space Jam, a one-note movie starring a man who can’t act designed to sell merchandise that’s so bad it managed to disappoint me—an idiot kid—in 1996, deserved a sequel. What world was I living in? I thought we all agreed that the only thing good to come out of Space Jam was its soundtrack, but many millennials apparently hold it close to their hearts, alongside memories of Treasure Trolls and the first song they ever downloaded on Napster.
The opinion that Space Jam is a deserving of a sequel is wrong, but not surprising. Plenty of very bad movies from the era—ones targeted to the generation to which I belong—are remembered fondly for reasons that are a mystery to me. From lightweight Dazed & Confused wannabes Empire Records and Can’t Hardly Wait to joyless special effects extravaganzas like Jumanji and Hook, I believe that a lot of my peers are misremembering the movies they loved in the ‘90s. Let me suggest that maybe Space Jam should be revisited before you celebrate, which you will not then celebrate, because it’s bad.
To any Hollywood bigwig reading this post, allow me to list out the movies from the ‘90s that are actually in need of being revisited, as it seems no one else can figure this one out:
- Now & Then
- Camp Nowhere
- My Girl / My Girl 2
- The Craft
- Blank Check
- Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead
I love all those movies because they are perfect, unlike Space Jam. Do sequels to those, not the bad ones. Trust me, Hollywood. This is the correct opinion.
Images via TriStar Entertainment/Warner Bros/Columbia