Sometimes, my problems feel so cliched. Am I happy? Am I loving and supporting those I care about in a way that they deserve? Will I die alone? And most importantly, how can I enhance my own magical powers when I am not personally all that magically gifted? Thankfully, the answer to my final question has been answered: magical pants made from the leg skin of a powerful sorcerer who has agreed to donate his pelt upon his death.
Light-hearted joking about Ed Gein-style shenanigans aside, necropants — or the horrible-looking monstronsities you see in the picture accompanying this post — are a real thing. Don't believe me? You can see a pair in person for yourself if you happen to be near the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft in Holmavik, Iceland.
According to UPI, 17th century practitioners of sorcery believed that magical powers could be transmitted between people via the wearing of another's skin. And so sorcerer buddies would sometimes enter agreements not unlike many best friend pacts made in the modern day— if one dies first, then the survivor inherits the other's skin, from which the living person will make a pair of fucked up footy pajamas and thus become more magical. But magical pants aren't as simple as skinning your dead friend's body; there's more.
In order to make the magical trousers, the living man would have to strip the skin off of the corpse in one piece. The wearer of the pants then had to steal a coin from a widow and store it in the scrotum of the trousers next to a magical sign called a nábrókarstafur.
The coin was a “tool to gather wealth by supernatural means.”
The skin of the pants would then stick to the wearer’s own flesh. “They would immediately be stuck with your own flesh and be part of your body,” said a museum spokesman.
“People would be able to use them as long as they lived, but they would have to get rid of them before they die. If they would find someone to take them over they could last forever,” the spokesman said.
In addition to being magical and pretty much the ultimate Halloween costume, magical pants made from human skin allow jokester wizards to make the following bad joke:
Do these pants make your ass look fat?
Necropants made from human leg skin, $?, Wizard's House, I guess