A drunk driver was busted on Sunday while wearing a T-shirt proudly proclaiming he was "DRUNK AS SHIT."
Yeah, sorry, I'm not kidding with this. One of nature's bro-iest of bros decided it would HELLA FUNNY to drive drunk while wearing a shirt bragging about how drunk he was. What do you do first? Sigh or UGH? Hard decisions, indeed. Via the New York Post:
A 21-year-old Oregon man was arrested Sunday night on a drunken driving charge — while wearing a blue T-shirt emblazoned with huge black letters that read "DRUNK AS S–T."
Ross McMakin had gotten behind the wheel allegedly because his girlfriend couldn't drive a stick, The Smoking Gun reported. The [Corvallis] resident ended up driving the car onto the sidewalk and also hit a parked car. When his girlfriend tried to grab the keys from him, he assaulted her. He's now facing a slew of charges, including drunken driving, reckless endangerment, harassment and strangulation.
I'm sorry, I just can't with this story. I hate drunk drivers. I like to drink. I like to drink a lot. I also like the idea of staying safely in my home or in a place where I won't be a danger to poor, unsuspecting, innocent people who are simply out minding their own goddamn business and not expecting to encounter some drunk shithead careening all over the road. It's not cool that you put some dopey shirt on and then think it's SUPER HILARIOUS to jump in your car and take a chance at risking someone's life.
Call a cab, call a friend, take the bus—whatever. And thus ends you Auntie Rebecca's preachy, boring old lady advice for the night.