Why Wasn't I Called to Model for the Bavarian 2015 Hot Potato Calendar

To Whom It May Concern at the Bavarian Farmers Association,

Hello. You may not know me (because I am not Bavarian) but my name is Kate Dries. Slate has brought it to my attention that you have released a calendar featuring women and potatoes having a great time. Or, by your description (which I assume has been slightly garbled due to Google Translate):

Regional, tasty and pretty sexy

Bavarian potato farmers present calendar “The Hot Potato 2015”

Hot, hot, Bavarian potato. The round tuber presented again this year seductive: with the new calendar “Hot Potato 2015”, which can be ordered directly online from

The “Hot Potato 2015” presents fresh and sexy.

Twelve young women put the bulb in scene. Time bathing in golden chips, crispy roast potatoes snacking at the times, in times of royal pose clothed or airy on the field. Photographer Karin Heidmeier has once again come up with imaginative calendar motifs that take the viewer into the world of potato.

For only 15 euros (plus shipping), I’ve learned that I can hang this calendar on my wall. But, for literally no money, you could have had me in the calendar. I’m not sure what the barrier of entry was for those who were actually invited to model for it, but I don’t think it could have been so high that I wouldn’t have been considered a viable candidate.

I mean, I can pose like this. I have black underwear. [*winks*] You have the potatoes.

And this is basically my entire life already.

Ok this is not quite…what I had in mind.

But here we go! I’d even add more of a smile (no promise on that fishtail braid though).

Yes, unlike the current Bavarian Potato Queen Kathrin Schoderer, I am not currently working in the potato field. But! As she says, “There are no potato dish that I do not like.” That is certainly true for me as well.

In conclusion, Bavarian Farmers Association, I really think you missed an opportunity to have a true potato lover and alright looking person in your calendar. I could have brought your entire industry new consumers with my Americanness. Luckily for you, there’s always another calendar.

Sincerely,

Kate Dries

A True Potato Lover

Images via Karin Heidmeier Fotostudio/Bavarian Farmers Association