What's On Berlusconi's Bucket List?

During the parliamentary session that may have sealed Silvio Berlusconi’s political fate, the esteemed Italian premier was making a sort of to-do list. A photographer caught the list on camera, and it makes for some strange reading.

It also inspired us to come up with a list of our own, detailing some things Berlusconi might want to do when he’s no longer running Italy.

Here’s the actual list, according to the AP. It’s not on his hand, but it kind of reminds us of Sarah Palin:

• 308 [the number of votes Berlusconi got on his coalition’s budget bill; not a parliamentary majority]
• – 8 traitors [according to the Times, this refers to “the lawmakers who failed to support him”]
• Government upturn
• Vote
• Take note [this is like when you write “make to-do list” on your to-do list]
• Resignation
• Italian President [Berlusconi met with President Giorgio Napolitano after the vote]
• One solution
• Let’s move [he will now be joining Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity initiative]

Making a list is a good idea, since Berlusconi is about to have a lot of time on his hands. Here’s what we think might be on his post-politics bucket list:

• start exclusive Bunga Bunga Clubs in Rome, Moscow, Vegas
• find out why female politicians never like my jokes about their vaginas
• get new pickup lines (“former Italian premier” testing poorly in focus groups)
• buy Lingerie Football League
• send friend request to Herman Cain
• change sheets on Putin’s bed
• find out what is legal when you are not Premier — petty theft? Public urination?
• if Bunga Bunga Clubs successful, proceed with plans for Hotel Strauss-Kahn
• make TV show where I just give the finger to everyone; run on all TV networks I own
• stop choosing dentists for hotness; get actual dental exam
• get “dental” “exam”
• look into starting own country; is “Boobonia” trademarked?
• sneak into next G8 summit and photobomb everyone
• Kardashian butts: investigate
• get really good lawyers
• knitting?
• Berlusconi Offers To Quit If Euro Reforms Are Passed [NYT]