All images via Landau.com.

They both look freaking hot in a nerd way, but you only respect one of them.

When we think about sexism in STEM, we usually think of girls being taught that they are bad at math, boys “looking like” doctors and girls “looking like” sexy nurses, and tenured lab heads who grope because its part of the job description. But what would you say if I told you that that sexism is so deep that it goes all the way from the hands-y boss, through a tube that makes a see-saw lift up a hammer and crack an egg that falls down a drain and all the way to the company that sells lab coats themselves?

Thanks to Casey Ireland, a medicine resident, and her friend who tipped us off, Jezebel got the once in a lifetime chance to learn about lab coat choice and marketing—specifically marketing from scrubs and medical apparel company Landau. Let’s take look at the company’s selection for men:

Great names.

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And for women:

Sucks for men that they aren’t able to enjoy the figure hugging benefits of a “smart stretch” jacket, and instead have to settle for one of infinity “Men’s Lab Coat”. But let’s go deeper—what will these coats do?

Men can expect their lab coats to do any of the following:

Not only is this spectacularly written copy, but these things are also things a doctor would want from a lab coat: looking polished; not being mistaken for an orderly; being professional; possessing a tailored garment; being a doctor.

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What about the selection for my ladies?

That is what I’m talking about! A girl doctor that knows how to please me and you better believe I am whiny and will ask for a second bouillon cube in my post-op broth! An oncologist who has a tight waist and a bangin’ ass (no fatties in the cancer ward)! Knot puns!

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Our tipsters alerted us to another medical apparel site where the Landau coat is sold (though we couldn’t find the copy on Landau’s website) that entices girl docs (nurses) to “Trade frump for femme in this four button lab coat.” Isn’t it great to be alive in 2017, where women can be anything from a sexy doctor to a sexy blogger to a sexy corpse? I’m feeling great.