Looking for practical advice about your relationship? You may want to avoid the Wendy Williams Show, because the talk show host just told an audience member it's okay to trick your husband into getting you pregnant if he promised you a second child. "Men have never been in control of our bodies," Williams tells the star-struck fan before telling her that she'd never suggest anyone trick a spouse in this way. Of course, she contradicts her own advice immediately, telling the woman to look in Williams' eyes for the answer and then conducting an audience applause poll (the only scientific way to decide whether you should fuck up your relationship beyond recognition) to decide whether the woman should stop taking birth control and not tell her spouse. (Except, this is also on national television and he probably knows now.)
I know that Williams is an entertainer and not a trained psychologist, but it's still upsetting watching her cut through the real issues that this woman is bringing to the table — those of expectations and how they change during a relationship — and immediately tell the audience member that she is somehow owed this baby and should not worry about getting it through any means necessary because her spouse had, at one time, made a promise. Never mind that communication is the most important part of a long-term relationship or the betrayal the husband will likely feel when he realizes he's been lied to on such a grand scale. Or the guilt the audience member will likely feel herself.
I get that all relationships include some small lies and secrets ( for instance, my partner won't tell me when he has bought a new pair of sunglasses and I will not tell him when I have chain-smoked an entire day while grading papers), but these types of lies generally don't have an effect on one's time, finances, and emotional well-being. Perhaps the husband in question isn't ready to have another baby. Perhaps for him one is enough. The answer Williams gives (while entertaining and probably excellent for ratings) is also one that can destroy the trust in a relationship, and I can't help but think how Williams' advice and the influence she has on her fans will impact the relationship of the woman in the clip above as well as the relationships of individuals watching the enthusiasm it received from her audience.