Weird Hologram of Michael Jackson Performed at Billboard Music Awards

A hologram of Michael Jackson just performed a new song at the Billboard Music Awards.

There are so many words in that sentence that totally freak me out. In addition to a lot of other music-y stuff that went on at Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards, the producers trotted out a hologram of Jackson who performed a song called “Slave to the Rhythm.” This isn’t the first time a dead recording artist has been brought back to life via hologram and for the life of me, I don’t know why we still want to do this.

I really miss Michael Jackson’s music. I like watching Usher dance to his music (actually I think I might like watching Usher dance to pretty much anything, like my mom humming the Oscar Meyer Wiener song.) But I do not think I like this. This is like when you were a kid and you got that idea in your head to mix some of your favorite foods together (spaghetti! Doritos! marshmallows!) but then it just goes horribly, horribly wrong when you put it all in your mouth.

BTW, I want to make something very clear with all of you here tonight. If I ever die, I do not want to be hologrammed so I can be brought back on this blog to make snarky jokes about alcohol and celebrities. Just let me live out my days in the afterlife doing what I have always wanted to do—haunting Kathie Lee Gifford’s house and communing with the almighty Lord Vodka.