Wearing Kilt May Up Sperm Count, But Lowers Chance of Getting Some

That’s not wind up their kilts, it’s free-hanging haggis and groats! And guess what? When a commando Scot bring you back to their hillock abode with a roof of peat moss, they’re gonna impregnate you with some of their Rowan jelly. (That’s if they’re not too busy tossing the caber into the loch.) (Sorry.)

From MaxHealth:

In addition to keeping their scrotum at a cooler temperature, which research proves can boost sperm count, kilt wearers enjoy psychological benefits, such as feeling more masculine and proud and enjoying positive attention from sexual admirers, reported LiveScience on April 19. The research, based on analysis of prior studies, was published in the latest issue of the Scottish Medical Journal.

This is all true — especially the positive sexual attention. Who doesn’t want to go home with a handsome Scot and then nine months later, pop out a miniature kilted lad or lass who does a jig all the way to the pub? Nobody, that’s who.