In case you're not on Reddit (and if that's the case, pat yourself on the back because you're not an Internet-addicted waste human like me), Samuel L. Jackson has been doing this thing where he asked Redditers to submit 300 word monologues, one of which he would choose to perform. According to the post, members of SLJ's family has suffered from Alzheimer's, so he's making these monologues as a reward for donating to his Prizeo. All proceeds are going to the Alzheimer's Association.

Here's how he picked the monologues:

"To clarify how I chose the winner, this feed was a muthafukkin mess, it was easier to tell which ones got the most death threats rather than the most up votes, so out of the top ones I chose the one I felt was the most badass and monologue 2 coming over the weekend!"

Ah, yes. The winner was the one with the most death threats, in true Reddit form. Side note: Jackson used several variations of "mother fuckers" in his post, including "muthaphukkas," "muthafukkas," and "mahfakkan."

This one is SLJ as Walter White from Breaking Bad, doing the "I am the one who knocks" bit. His bald head is making the whole thing that much better. Although, I still prefer anything SLJ from Snakes on a Plane over this.